Diabetes Roulette: Rachel’s Story + Comforting Steak & Potatoes Recipe

In this episode, Rachel, mom of two, joins Reesa Morala, LMFT, to share her journey of navigating life as a single parent to a child diagnosed with Type I diabetes. Rachel discusses the fear and challenges that come with managing serious medical needs, including some scary close calls, and how she worked to establish a “new normal” for her family.

As they explore parenting insights, resources, and coping strategies, Rachel also shares her go-to Steak and Potatoes recipe—a classic dish that brings comfort and connection to the dinner table.

Subscribe, like, and follow for more heartfelt parenting stories, helpful tips, and family-friendly recipes!

💬 What parenting challenges have you faced? Share your story in the comments!
🥩 Tried the recipe? Let us know how it turned out!

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Garlic Butter Steak Bites and Mash
Credit: @yummyRecipes
Ingredients:

For the Garlic Butter Steak Bites:
1 1/2 lbs sirloin steak, cut into bite-sized pieces
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 tbsps unsalted butter
1 tbsp olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste
Fresh parsley, chopped (for garnish)

Instructions:
1. In a large skillet, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat.
2. Season steak bites with salt and pepper.
3. Add the steak bites to the skillet in a single layer (you may need to cook them in batches to avoid overcrowding).  Cook for about 2-3 minutes per side, or until browned and cooked to your desired level of doneness.
4. Remove the steak bites from the skillet and set aside.
5. In the same skillet, add the butter and minced garlic. Cook for about 1 minute, or until the garlic is fragrant and the butter is melted.
6. Return the steak bites to the skillet and toss to coat them in the garlic butter. Cook for an additional 1-2 minutes to heat through.
7. Garnish with chopped fresh parsley before serving.
8. Place a generous scoop of mashed potatoes on each plate. Top with the garlic butter steak bites.
9. Serve immediately and enjoy!
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If you or your loved one is struggling with any of the topics discussed, here are some resources:
CDC - 3 Ways to Help Manage Your Child's Type 1 Diabetes:
https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/caring/3-ways-help-manage-childs-type-1.html

Children with Diabetes: https://childrenwithdiabetes.com/
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Disclaimer:

The content provided on this podcast is for informational purposes only and doesn't constitute professional advice. The views a

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Host: Reesa Morala, MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Reesa is a couples counselor for parents providing therapy in person in Murrieta, CA and virtual couples therapy in California. Find Reesa hosting couples and parenting workshops nationwide!

Make sure to like, follow, and subscribe!

For the video version of this episode find us at: https://www.embracerenewaltherapy.com

If you are a parent ready to share your real-life parenting struggle and dish up a recipe with Reesa, apply here:
https://www.embracerenewaltherapy.com/real-family-eats-guest

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or need personalized support, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional. If you are in immediate danger or experiencing a crisis, contact emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area.

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Go to your local hospital or call 911

Transcript

0:00

Okay, you're ready to go home. And I said, no, I'm not. You can not send me home with my child. I am not equipped to take care of her, and I'm going to kill her. Hey, everyone. Thanks for joining me. My name is Reesa and I'm your host. We are talking to real families about real stories. Here on The Real Family Eats, where we've got food for thought and thoughtful food. So let's eat. All right, everyone, hey. Today our guest is the lovely Rachel. Rachel, thank you so much for being a guest on the show with us today. Thanks for having me. Yes. I am so excited to one get to taste and cook your yummy recipe, but also to hear a little bit about your story and some of the experience. The real experience that you had on the parenting side. But first, for anybody who's not familiar with you like I am, can you introduce yourself for us? Yes, I my name is Rachel. I'm. I always forget how old I am. To be honest, I think I'm 42. I might be 43. Who's counting? Right? Like. Oh, yeah. I have two girls, 19. She's 19, 19 and 15, I am divorced, I was, divorced my husband in 2018. And so it's been me and my girls, living the crazy single mama hood. Since then. So I currently work at a place called Lake Forest Hearing Professionals, and I have started going back to school for medical billing and coding, and still trying to figure out how to keep my my little toes and hands in what I did previously at my old job with working with kids and students. So very cool. And I know, I know that we kids and students is how we met. So I think you kind of get is in that world for quite some time. Yes. Okay. So before we go into your story and a little bit about your journey, what recipe are you sharing with us today? So we are a steak and potatoes family pretty much like. And that is what we eat. My youngest is a type one diabetic, which is part of, a huge part of our story now. And so we try to do a ton of protein, but she is also my carb loader and can't live life without carbs. And so we manage that with a little bit of potatoes on the side because she loves potatoes. So this is one of her favorite recipes. Wonderful. So getting started. And what are some of the steps that I'm going to be doing here at first. And then I can get cooking while we chat a little bit about, as you mentioned, your story? Yeah. So just putting the steak in the pan and kind of, I don't even know the right terminology for it is it's searing it up. We cook it all. We do. Okay. We've got it here. I think we put a little bit of there. We put a little bit of that, and then we just make it. Yes. Am I putting oil in or butter? We do oil, but you can do better. Whatever I got, I got some, some nice avocado oil here. That's that's fancy. Well, I'm in California now. You know, I actually had to add up similarly. Okay. So I'll do this all year. That and then, once I've got it all seared, is there anything else that I need to worry about doing our. That is like, kind of dig up potatoes? Are you doing, like, real potatoes are like box potatoes? Because we do box for sometimes. So I, I've already boiled my real potatoes. You're so amazing. No, I got the little steamer, guys. I left the peels. You know, they that's that's the real what I had time to do today. Okay, so I'll do that then with my potatoes as well. So that's what I'm what I here. Yes. Cool. Okay, so while I get this started, I know you mentioned, your kiddo who has the type one diabetes. So when did that journey I mean, because that's that's unique in itself and I imagine brings a whole nother set of challenges outside of just being a teen mom, which in itself, I feel like I have so many parents that they're like, yes. So we get divorced in 28, 2019. It was official for her, and I got super, super sick in 2020. And it takes like, I have to be dying in order to miss work. Like I don't miss work. It's just what my grandmother instilled in me very young. And, we were on the couch for a week. Solid. She was at a school. I didn't go to work. We didn't get tested for Covid. It was 20, 20. No idea. It could have been Covid. Who knows? I don't know, maybe it was a bad flu, I don't know. Anyways, so after that, she had started to lose a ton of weight, but she was being food like gravy. I would make dinner and she would have a full plate and then an hour and a half later she's like, I'm hungry. And so we would get into a fight because I was like, there's no way you're hungry. You just eat an entire meal. Yeah. And she was hungry. And then she would eat another entire meal and she would eat and eat and eat. And I was like, okay, this is so weird. She would drink a ton of water, a ton, which I'm a water drinker. So I was like, yeah, girl. Yeah. So how can you say you're right? You're doing amazing. I'm so proud of you. And then I'm with her all the time. It was Covid, so we were home doing school from online, which is, let me tell you. Oh, good golly, Miss Molly. Anyways, so I didn't really know what it. Yeah, I know, so I didn't really notice a ton. But one day it was really warm outside and we were going to my aunt's house and she put on a pair of shorts and this shirt, and I just looked at her and was like, something is not right. And so I went to I looked at my oldest and I said if we're going to my aunt's house, we're going to my aunt lives. I said, if there's anything about playa, I'm taking her to the doctor tomorrow. And so my we walk into my aunt's house, she pulls me aside and she goes, what is wrong with Kaia? And I was like, going to the doctor. So then I called the next day. They got her in that day because I had given her all the symptoms. We'd gone into her pediatrician and she did a test to find ketones, and she said, I think she's got diabetes. And I thought she had a calf, a place that when she was born, which we were told could turn into a minute. Wait. So that's always in the back of my head. So I was thinking, she's got leukemia. Like I already prepped myself. Like I already had the journey in my head. I was like, this is what we're going to do. It's going to be fine. We're going to figure it out. And she's like, so she's got diabetes. I'm like, yeah, what year? But I'm like, okay, I got a plan. It's gonna be fine. I got a place. It's going to be fine. And then she's like, I think she has diabetes. And I'm like, what is that sick? But I wasn't ready. Oh. So was it because I heard you mention, you know, when you went over to your relative's house like, that was kind of your your call sign? Was that because you were looking for kind of that second opinion? Someone else is also saying, like, if it doesn't mean do I like something is different, but I can't put my finger on it. But if you notice it right away and that's obviously what it is. Gotcha. So I'm curious aside from not going what is it. I have no idea what you're talking about right now. What else I mean as this as you as a doctor explain kind of as this is unfolding, I'd love to know kind of what was going on for you as, as mom like, in your head. I'd love to hear your thoughts. So I am. I'm not a panicker. And don't panic. I like to have a plan. And so in my head, she's saying all these things, and in my head, I'm formulating a plan. And I would repeat back to some of my thoughts and things. And the doctor looked at me and she said, I've known you since she was born. You are planning in your head right now. And I said, yeah, of course I am. And she goes, you have to stop. And I said, why? And she goes, because there is no plan for diabetes. You have zero control. So right now you are trying to get control over something that is going to make you insane. So you have to understand right now, in this moment, you do not have control over this disease. And I was like, oh. I know you because we go way back the idea of not having that control. Like you said, you're a planner. I mean that's got to be such a wild shift. And so part of me even just off putting off settling in that sense it was I felt this lump in my throat of like. And I just knew that that was actually a legitimate statement. I don't know how I knew it. I didn't know all the ins and outs. I mean, I knew what diabetes was, but I didn't know the depth of what it is. Okay. And so they sent us to Lori's Children's Hospital that night. We had to check her in. She was at she wasn't super high in comparison to some people that I have talked to. She was at 900, a normal range was 80 to 150. So we were in we got admitted into Lori's that night and then it became very real. That first night I just cried. I did a lot of cry. I'm going to cry now. But that's that's right. And I have so many parents that have said that the same, same here, like, oh, I'm going to cry this. I think we forget that we are humans. We've got our own emotions and we absolutely do cry at the time. Our kids are crying. We're sitting there, right there with the words, I don't know. I'm crying. You're crying? Yes. That is so incredibly real. Yeah, yeah. And then the next day came the first 24 hours the nurses took. Not even the first 24, I want to say was maybe the first eight hours. The nurses total control. And then they said, all right, let's go, let's go. What? We're going to train you how to do this. I'm like, I'm going to kill my child. And they're like, no, you're not scared. We're going to figure this out. So they immediately started showing me injections and poking her finger and reading, her glucose monitor and going through all the things. And we had a training that was a few hours long at the hospital at two different times. Her dad had to come down because there were two separate households, and they wouldn't release her if he didn't come down for training because she slept at his house. Sometimes. So, we were both down there doing all the training, and then we stayed one more night and the next morning and they're like, okay, you're ready to go home. And I said, no, I'm not. You cannot send me home with my child. I am not equipped to take care of her, and I'm going to kill her. And they're like, you are not going to kill her. I said, yes, I am like, what if I don't wake up in the middle of the night? Like, what if she falls so drastic and she doesn't even know what it feels like? And I'm sleeping, and I don't wake up to my alarm to check her finger and the poker finger in the middle. And I did check her numbers, and she falls into a coma and they're like, you are thinking, worst case scenario? I said, right, that's how my brain goes. I said, I can't, I can't, you cannot, you can't give me her like you can't let me take my daughter home. It's just you can't do it. And they were like, you're going to be fine. You're going to figure it out. It takes time. It's trial and error. And I was like, trial and error is going to kill my child. There is no trial and error. Yeah. And so, she said, like you said, with your own kids, like, it's one thing when you're like, at work and, you know, you're learning a computer problem and it's trial and error, okay. It's it's we'll figure it out. But like you said that that's my kid. Like, no, no, no, it's not a it's not a trial or I'm saying compiler error. And then we got home and the first probably I got in touch with some people right away. They partnered me with some great groups and support groups I had put up posted on Facebook, and I had a girlfriend who also had a daughter who is type one. And so she put me in with this moms group immediately. And the outreach was amazing. I think it honestly gave me a little bit of hope in the midst of all the crazy of trying to figure out all this new ness and what can we eat, what we can't eat. How much insulin do we give? When do we poker finger. They introduced me to this thing called Dexcom, which is a, glucose monitoring system that she wears on her body. At the time I called and our insurance didn't cover it. And then I had been praying like, God, we need this, I need I, I need this, I need this like, how is this going to work? And I have no idea how it works. I am a strong faith believer. I have a strong foundation in in my faith with God, prayed, prayed, pride parade. Prayed. My team at work was praying. My prayer partners were out there praying. All of a sudden the following week, it showed up on our doorstep. I completely paid for after my insurance company kept telling me that it wasn't going to be covered. Oh wow. It was amazing. Got her hooked up with Dexcom, but that week that we didn't have it, I literally did not sleep because I was so afraid of her numbers not being where they should be in the middle of the night, and me doing something wrong, that the anxiety from that I didn't sleep at all. And at that time I had my girls all the time. They didn't go with their dad because he just wasn't ready to help care for her at that time. And so my aunt would come over for a couple hours during the day just to let me sleep, and then she would have to go back to work, and I'd have to figure it out. So how is your daughter at this point? She was a it was three days before her 12th birthday. Oh, wow. And what in the what a way to have a 12th birthday man begging the nursing staff. She goes, If I'm still in here for my birthday, you guys bring me a cake. And they were like, yes, it goes, can I even eat cake? And they were like, yes, you can have cake and we will give you cake. Yeah. Oh my, I. And so you went, you know, you're not like you. So kind of 12 years out of the infant stage and it sounds like kind of right back in it to those sleepless nights of just like, on edge. Is my baby okay. But still even now four years into it I get, if I'm lucky, three solid nights of sleep a week. Wow. Our numbers go off in the middle of the night, whether she's dropping or whether she's completely out of range and high, I have to go in and give her an injection or I have to wake her up and give her juice or milk or something to make her numbers rise. And it's a fight. She doesn't realize it, but we will

fight at 2: 17:20

00 in the morning. She refuses to drink or eat anything, and I'm like, you have to get up and drink. The next morning comes along. She has no idea. She doesn't remember fighting with me. And so to me, it becomes hard because I'm fighting with someone who doesn't remember and I'm trying to get angry at her, but I'm also tired. From no sleep. And it's just one of those certain girl things that just keep, it's like a hamster wheel. And I have to learn kind of grace with her. I'm so curious. You mentioned kind of that difficulty, like you said, to kind of wake up and have this interaction that hopefully, you know, at this age, you know, you're hoping that they're they're learning and then we're adapting and being able to kind of move out of that fight. And then like you say to them, you know, in the morning she go, I don't even remember this. So, you know, she isn't necessarily cognizant to be able to kind of learn or to apply, you know, any skills. In that sense, it sounds like to be able to grasp the importance of what you're trying to do in that moment. At 2 a.m. in the morning, she doesn't grasp the concept of it generally, her own. I have multiple conversations. She she has to want it. And she's a teenager. She doesn't want to be different. She didn't want things on her body that makes her different than someone else. Which is why she won't get a pump. And everyone's like, well, you should make her get a pump. I'm like, I can't make her get a pump on her body. Like, yeah. Think about what you say before you speak because that just doesn't make sense. Just like I can't ever put anybody right. Met a teenager. Have you made a teenager do anything that they want to do because it doesn't usually end well. Yeah. And so her end is like, it's just going to you're going to have to prep yourself probably for a hospital visit. You're she's either going to pass out or she's going to go into DKA, where she's so high that her body starts to shut down like it's she's just a teenager. And so the reality of it is, is that's where I'm at. I can't force her to take care of herself. I can show her. I can tell her the importance of it. But do you tell any other normal teenager the things they should and should not do, and then watch them perform all the things that they shouldn't, should not do? Yeah. I mean, let me know because I need to have right things. Has got to be a magic sauce in there somewhere, right? There's got to be something. I mean, yeah. Is that scary for you as a parent to kind of in this moment, you know, you're you're hurt outside of your body are making these choices that on the, on the high level are developmentally appropriate. You know, we can comprehend and go, yeah, it totally makes sense. You're at a point where you're learning that autonomy and and finding that independence to be able to make your own decisions at the same time, like you said, knowing that this is the are very big decisions having to do with health, which is is is a big thing. I mean, yeah, I'm so curious as a, as a parent is that is that scary? Freaks me out. But what am I going to do? Yeah. One of the things that I've learned, and that's what the doctor said stays with me, is that I'm trying to control something that I have zero control over. Yeah, and it's easy to say, very easy to say. But when you're living something that you have no control over, I can give her applesauce one night when she is at 40, which will bring her to, let's say, 80, which is a normal range. I can give her the same applesauce the next day at the same point, and it will shoot her up to 200 points, and then I have to give her insulin to bring her back down. Wow. You have zero control over it and it doesn't matter. And so even the endo tells me you can't control it. So you need to stop because you are going to make yourself crazy. Wow. And can you for for anybody who's listening. Because I think, I think many would be in a similar boat is you where like on a high level you've maybe you've heard about diabetes and you have a general sense. But what has been your experience of what does that actually mean. What does like a day to day look like for you as a parent of a child with type one, day to day or several injections trying to get her to stay in range, we used to work. We used to weigh her food all the time. And portion for our. Yeah. Because you have to know how many, sugar grams, how many carbs are in each serving that you give your child because that's dependent on how much insulin they get. And so you're constantly weighing and looking at reading labels. It's like having a child with allergies. You want to make sure you read the labels really well. It's teaching, a ton of math. You have to know how many carbs you're eating, and then you have to divide it by a specific number. And that's going to give you the amount of insulin that you need to take. Oh, wow. And so it becomes very much of a, a math game too. And I hated math. So when they're trying to tell me, like, this is going to be a math game, I'm like, you don't understand what the I hate math. Yeah. And they're like, you're going to get really good at it. And I'm like, that's not one of my goals in life. So, you know, that's not on my life plan, not on my life plan, not on the one thing that Rachel wants to learn. I don't write, I'm not really interested. Wow. And so when when those, like you said, those drops happen or the spikes happen for you, kind of what's the thought process, what's going on in your head in those moments? So again, I'm not a super panicky person. We were at she's up, she plays volleyball for club, and this was probably the one time where I panicked. So she was up her Dexcom was reading a one number, but she was starting to act super funny. She was slurring her words. She couldn't stand up straight. She couldn't walk in a straight line. That was like, there is something wrong. And I poked her finger. She was at 26, which is extremely dangerously low. We were walking up to the parking garage to get back into the car and she couldn't walk. It was just me and her, one of her volleyball teammates, by the grace of God, literally was not far behind us. But we didn't know that. Okay, I kept making her sit up and I was like, Kaia, look at me. You cannot fall asleep. You. I need you to stay awake. I need you to keep looking at me. I need you to keep talking to me. And she's like, I just want to lay down. I just want to go to sleep. And I'm like, not an option. We had exhausted all of our sugar and carbs, everything she had already eaten, and then her Dexcom was so far off that I didn't think we needed anything before we left the gym. So wow, I didn't have anything. I had nothing. Her volleyball teammate walked up, and I looked at her as her mom and I said, I need you to sit with her, and I need you to not let her fall asleep or lay down. And she saw her finger poke, and it said, 26 and so she's freaking. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. If anyone needs to freak, it's this one. You get it? Hold it together. I just need you to stay with her. So I ran to get the car picked her up, and I don't even remember how fast I was going, but I know it wasn't the speed limit to the nearest Culver's and pound to eat ice cream, and gave her pop, and she didn't have to have any insulin because that's how low she was. And typically with ice cream, she has to have insulin. She's not a big pop drinker, but she has to have insulin. It's primarily sugar. And so she didn't have to have any. And in that moment I would that was probably the scariest moment. Yeah, sure. I knew my insides were in panic mode, but I couldn't do that because it wasn't the time for me to panic because she needed help. I had to get my stuff together because it's not about me. I had to figure out and get her under control. And then after that, I cried. Yes, I cried the whole ride home. Is that has that been difficult to kind of. Because what I'm hearing you say and let me know if I'm off base is that it sounds like fairly frequently you are having to to kind of hold whatever big emotions are naturally coming up for you as a parent, kind of watching your kiddo go through these things at such, you know, drastic swings at some point to have to hold on to them while you put the fires out. It sounds like I think that's pretty normal. And maybe that's just a couple. Okay, so just be my normal say that. Yeah. Because I think for how I have always imagined it as your kids get to have big emotions, but you get to be that calming sense and that calming presence that allows them to process and have those moments. But if you're both having them at the same time, how is that helping either one of you? Yeah. And so I very much am like, okay, let me figure your emotions out. Let's get you in a safe place and then I'll have my moment. But we can't have a moment at the same time because things are going to fall apart. And in our and just and I mean, I would imagine that other parents feel this way too, that being a single mom, like there are some things that I just don't get the opportunity to fall apart. Until it's my turn and not all the time is it my turn right away. What I really like. So it sounds like in those that you have been able to kind of find that balance and still allowing yourself, it sounds like that permission to have your own emotions. Yes. We may have to like push a pause for a moment, but then it sounds like you've been able to find a way to to give yourself that permission, that it's okay to also have your own emotions and what and that stands out so much to me because I feel like I've talked to so many parents where sometimes they get that part, or maybe they don't feel entitled to to have that part of still having your emotions and just quickly try to grab that and go, no, it's not there. Let me kind of brush it. I don't have time for it, whatever that narrative is for them. And so I'm so curious, like, what for you is kind of maybe the moment. Has it always been that way where you've been, you know, good about allowing yourself to have emotions and space and time for those as well. Or is that something you you had to learn? That is something I had to learn. I was a bottler. I didn't have emotions. Emotions are stupid. I am not dealing with them. I am not processing them. It's not happening. We're going to put you in a little bottle and we're not going to talk about it. Yeah. I had at my old job, my old campus pastor, literally for a year, worked on me about. You need to talk about your emotions. We're going to talk about things. We're going to dive in and literally broke me. And I was like, I don't like this, but all I do is cry. Now, what? Everything inside your, I cried all the time. I cry all the time now. It's awful. But I think that's because it is a release. Like it's now. What I was going to say now because it's a release. So now I just cry all the time. It's amazing. Everybody knows that. Get Rachel going and she will cry. Guaranteed. Yeah. And I know how normalizing though, you know, to maybe have that seen in you and maybe inspire others that it's it's totally okay. It doesn't it's not a reflection. Having those emotions. Nope. Isn't a reflection on your character. On on how you are as a parent or anything and said, it sounds like it normalizes you almost. One of the things, that I remember someone had said to me is that your daughter? See you strong all the time. They think you can do anything, but you are human and you have a limit. If your children don't see you having limits and having moments where you can't hold it all together, they're going to have an unrealistic expectation of where they need to achieve that. They have to have it all together, that they can't fall apart, that they don't have permission to feel the feels or feel all the things. If you are constantly trying to be Wonder Woman. And so that stuck with me a lot. Yeah, because I don't want them to ever feel like they have to live up to an expectation of having it all together because it's unrealistic and it's not real. And to have to hear that, I mean, that sounds incredibly powerful to kind of be reminded and framing it in that way that, you know, even if you're not necessarily willing to give yourself permission yet, you know, doing it from that motivation of this is really important message for me to send to my kiddos, and that it does kind of start with that, that modeling piece and really being able to to demonstrate to them, this is what I want for you. So, you know, gosh, how many parents are we much more motivated when it's about the results of our kids? Let me tell you right now, I'm like, I know I don't do it. However, what I know is really healthy is if you do it like this, you're going to love it so much better, because I haven't mastered that. But if I can tell you and teach you and show you, you're going to be light years ahead of me. Yeah, and isn't that. I feel like what so many of us parents are striving for are right for that growth, for them, for to raise those good human beings that we can look at and go, oh my gosh, the fact that you're able to do all these things that I didn't have the courage to do, that's I'm so in awe of you. Yeah, for sure, but it's necessary. I absolutely right that that's just it. It's not easy. It's like it maybe looks like in some of the movies or on some of those. So it's not like real. It's all of the star. They, like have this. They say it'll be fun. They said, oh, easy. Going to be easy. Really, really, really. Yeah. Let me have a conversation. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Terrorist. And you know, they're all so prim and proper. It's like, oh, thank you. My kids are. Yes. Right away. The dishes. You want me to get your offering to. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. You turn first, you turn. And have you seen Moana? Yes. The thing in our house is don't make me turn into the car. I want to be to feed. I really want to be. To feed. Do not make me go to car. Yeah. Okay. I've got my pan. I've steered some. I mean, am I putting my butter, my garlic, getting kind of making, like, a little sauce for my do in here. Yep. Yes. Cool. Okay. I can do that. So I'm super curious. You know, it sounds like you, you've had a lot of growing pains that you've had to kind of endure and figure out. And I know you mentioned some of those resources, that you found that have been super helpful. Are you able to share a little bit more about what are those resources? Are they things that are available to you, other families that maybe we can kind of clue them in, that maybe they they're not aware of some of these resources. What what did you find that works for you? A mine are all primarily related to diabetes. Just because that my world that I live in. Yeah. So there are a ton of Facebook groups that I'm a part of. Wendy City parents. I'd have to look up the names. But if anybody wants to know them, you can always give them my email address and I can send that to them. Some of them are local to where I'm at. Okay. I've read some books and diabetes. I've done a lot of looking into things, asking questions that every endo appointment that we go to. I'm just a huge advocate for, and I'm a huge fighter. I am not going to go down without a fight. And so this is something I have to learn. And I'm going to figure it out because I'm not going to let my child suffer because I'm not willing to do the work. Wow. And it's hard. I'm not saying that. It's I'm not saying and don't hear what I'm not saying, what I'm not saying, because that's what happens in the world we live in. We hear things that aren't being said. I'm not saying that every parent who doesn't do those things is not advocating for their child. I just, you know, myself. Yeah, I am a go getter and a non stopper. And so I'm constantly wanting to learn and do new things. I'm a single mom. I work 40 hours, sometimes more a week. I also am in school full time right now, so my plate's full. Yeah, it's it's real. I have a daughter who plays club volleyball. My type one. She's in volleyball all the time, constantly at tournaments. We're driving all over by where we live. We go to tournaments in other states. You master a schedule, you figure it out with my older daughter. She's in college right now, so it's a little bit easier because she's away at school. But trying to find that time to spend with her so she doesn't feel so lost in the shuffle. Because Kaia does require more from me than she does. And that doesn't mean that I love her less, or that I love my youngest more. There is a requirement, to care for her just differently. I don't love my children differently, but I have to care for them differently because they're different. And that's just a lot of it. What has that been difficult to to balance that because like you said it, it takes. Yeah. It's awful. There are work in progress. It is right. My oldest will be like, you don't love me. You love her more. And I'm like, listen up, Linda. That is not the truth. That might be how you are perceiving it. But the reality is, is that she requires her. She doesn't have a pancreas. I'm at. I'm a pancreas now. Like I should have a shirt that says I'm a pancreas. I don't get paid for that job. But that's what I am right now. Yeah. So it's you just. And it's educating her and having her understand. And yes, to her it feels like I care more about my youngest. It's not the reality, but the reality is she requires more. You have a body that functions at total normal capacity and can do all the normal things. Your sister does not have a body that can function normally, and so we have to help her function to be quote unquote whatever normal is. Yeah. And so that just requires me giving her a little and that I wouldn't even say more attention. It's making sure she's educated and knowing what she needs to do. Absolutely. And you know that it's like you mentioned kind of this idea that it it it we can provide them all of these words and try to again educate them that I promise you, I assure them I love you just the same. And sometimes it does make it like you said, they don't always perceive it that way. And we can't, no matter how much we want to kind of will them to, to perceive it. And so it is just kind of continuing to show up in the ways that we can't control what we have here. Well, that's the theme of today's episode, Ciara Control, no control. I'm telling you what I tell all. Any new family is like, you have zero control over this. Just let it go now. And I was that's actually perfect because I was going to say if you, you know, if we did channel, you know, you had a Delorean that could take you back. Is there anything that now, looking back, you would tell yourself sooner or that you would offer to any, any families that are maybe experiencing something similar, just getting their diagnosis that you would offer? It's it's going to be hard. It's going to be rough, but you're going to figure it out because you want your child to be successful and you want your child to be the best version of themselves. So as a parent, you're going to do what needs to get done, but it's not going to be easy. Like I have never been one that's going to tell you everything's rainbows and unicorns. The waterfall. That's so pretty. Now it's going to be hard. But the world that we live in, we're not meant to live easy life. It's not. It's just not meant to be the way that it is. Things happen. Our world is broken. And. So what are you going to do with it? Are you going to let it? This is just me. I don't say I know the world is not great. But I don't sit in the negativity of it. I choose to look beyond and see what the good is and hold on to that and cling on to that while knowing my world is probably falling apart. But why is that important to you? Part of me? Why is that important to you or need it for you? Because it can put you down into a deep, dark hole really quick. And I am a naturally joy filled person and happy. But just because I am joy filled in happy doesn't mean I don't experience sadness. Anxiety. Okay, inside out too, let's talk about it like I'm joy. Okay, I get it. And I'm learning that sadness is actually something that you need in order to have joy. Yeah. So as much as joy I want to have, I also know the reality of the world is things are going to go wrong. And so what do you how are you going to figure it out? My grandma raised me to, not be defined by your situation and figure it out. Pull up your bootstraps. We're going to figure this out. You're not going to sit here and you're not going to play victim. We're going to get up and we're going to figure it out. I had a tough love grandma. We made it tough love, kid. Yeah, well, what I'm hearing you say is that it sounds like you're finding your way through that balance. That balance of still giving your emotions the time and the space, acknowledging them. Like you said, we're not just pretending. You know, I'm putting them in that circle that they draw around that. That's right. I know this is the only place that you can have where you stay. Exactly. You know, where we're working our we are balance exactly. At your time of work on me, right? Yeah. And then at the same time and so it sounds like you're also kind of acknowledging that for the things that you do have a choice in and that you do get to say and like you said, you're choosing to, okay, I may not know this, but I'm going to go out and read a book. I'm going to educate. I'm going to find myself that support. It's not easy, like you said, and maybe everything in me is going, don't do this. We can't learn this. Like you said with the math, it doesn't seem to. It literally tells you. Yeah, and and to be able to kind of say that might be, you know, my anxiety speaking right now and anxiety, I hear you. I understand you're freaking out right now, but guess what? Like we're going to figure this out. There is light. Even though it looks like it's super far away. We can do this. It does take it sounds like kind of that one foot in front of the other kind of conscious decision to and baby steps. It doesn't have to be all it does. It has to be one step at a time to get you to the next hour, to get you to the next day, to get you to the next week. It doesn't have to, and you don't have to have a plan. Figure it out for five years from now. Let's work on tomorrow. Yeah, I think that's a great point that sometimes, you know, zooming in and kind of just looking at the right here, right now, what can I impact? Can be helpful. And pretty soon, like you said, you've made it that week. You've made it that month that the years. But it does kind of take that just like you said, that that baby step of figuring out what is it that I can, I can't control in this particular moment because there's a whole lot else thematic. And so I can show that I can. Yeah. And I remember it's looking back to say, what did you get through? Like, sometimes you have to look in the rear of your mirror and say, wow, look at all that I got through when I didn't think I could. And acknowledging that and knowing that and calling that out and being proud of yourself for that. Because sometimes you need to get it out. You need to be in your head telling yourself that you can do those things. And you did do those things. So your own cheerleader and having the self-compassion to do so. I'm. Yeah, that's awesome. And all the while, like you said, we don't get paid for this job. No, this is free babies. I know magnets for using. Well, recently I, I believe I'm done with my mashed potatoes. And I got my meat and my sauce. I'm gonna put it together, mix it all loveliness. And I thank you so much, not only for teaching me this lovely recipe that I'm super excited to eat. And I know that my kiddos, my kiddos also very much love. I mean, you know, my my husband's from the Midwest too, so he's a meat and potatoes kind of potato kind of guy. Yeah. So this is this is right up your alley. And so I, I love that you were willing to teach me this recipe. I'm so grateful for you and to even share your story in helping that cause pulling back that curtain, we're getting rid of that. That perfect facade, as you mentioned, and really showing that little one here to fact no, it's perfect. We have our work and it can be incredibly healing and helpful when we show them to, all right, people are gonna be like, this lady is crazy, Risa. They don't really know me. So they think I'm not. You know what? Aren't we all a little bit, though? I think we have her be I cuz we have children. True statement. Well, thank you so much. I so appreciate you. And I'm sure I'll tap you for. I'm sure you've got many, many a stories that you could you could share with us. But in the meantime, thank you so much. And thank you, everyone for tuning in. We'll see you next time. If you or anyone that you know is struggling with any of the topics that we discussed in today's episode, make sure to check out our show notes for support and resources. You can get help. Thanks again for joining us on today's episode of The Real Family Eats. If you're a parent ready to share your real life parenting story, make sure to reach out to us and our website found in the show notes. And that goes for today's recipe, social media support and resources. All of that can be found in our show notes, so make sure to check them out and make sure to follow, like, share, subscribe, and stay up to date on all things the real family eats. I hope you'll join us next time for more food for thought and thoughtful food! Enjoy your eats!