Empty Nesting: Journey Through Grief + Mac n Cheese | Real Parents, Real Struggles, & Recipe Sharing

Dommie Shaun, mom of 2 and owner of Dommie Shaun Health and Wellness Coach, talks with Reesa, our resident couples therapist for parents about their real parenting struggles. She is sharing navigating parenting challenges, the parent support and resources they found along the way, and any parenting tips they have discovered through their journey. While they chat parenting insights and stories, they are recipe sharing balancing parenting and family meals. She talks about parenting adult children launching off into adulthood and shares her Mac & Cheese recipe. Dommie discusses navigating the grief that comes when your children go from living in your home to becoming adults and moving out. Dommie opens up about having to figure out a parents role when the needs of your child changes and they start having families of their own. Make sure to subscribe, like, and follow for more recipes and parenting tips.

What's been a parenting challenge you've had? Share your story in the comments!
Have you tried the recipe? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Find Dommie  -
Website: www.northcoveco.com
Insta & FB: @dommieshaun

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Dommie's Mac and Cheese

INGREDIENTS:

1 bag of large elbow macaroni 
Large Block of Cheddar Cheese (shredded)
1-2 c Cubed Ham Steak 
2 eggs, slightly beaten
2c Heavy Whipping Cream  
Salt and Pepper, to taste 

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Pre-heat oven at 375 degrees F.
2. Grease a large baking dish.
3. Cook noodles per box instructions.
4. Add beaten eggs, cubed ham steak, and heavy whipping cream.
5. Salt and pepper to taste.
6. In the baking dish layer the following: layer of noodle mixture and layer of cheese. Repeat until last layer of cheese.
7. Cover with aluminum foil.
8. Bake for 30-45m until bubbly.
9. Remove aluminum foil and bake for another 15 minutes or until browned.

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Disclaimer:
The content provided on this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice or treatment. While we aim to share valuable insights and promote mental well-being, our discussions and content are not a substitute for professional mental health services. 

The views and opinions expressed by the host(s) and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the podcast. We encourage listeners/viewers to consult with a qualified mental health professional for advice tailored to their individual circumstanc

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Host: Reesa Morala, MA, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist 104709. Reesa is a couples counselor for parents providing therapy in person in Murrieta, CA and virtual couples therapy in California. Reesa, also, hosts couples workshops and parenting workshops worldwide.

Make sure to like, follow, and subscribe - https://linktr.ee/EmbraceRenewalTherapy

For the video version of this episode find us on www.youtube.com/@TheRealFamilyEats

If you are a parent ready to share your real-life parenting struggle and dish up a recipe with Reesa, apply here:

www.embracerenewaltherapy.com/real-family-eats

If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or need personalized support, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional. If you are in immediate danger or experiencing a crisis, contact emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area.

Suicide and Crisis Line: Text or Call 988

Go to your local hospital or call 911

Transcript

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You know,

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you get all of the comments like,

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oh, cut the cord.

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Oh, let them live their life.

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Oh, they're grown adults now.

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Well, okay.

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18 technically it's a grown adult, but

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they're still your children.

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Hey, everyone.

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Thanks for joining me.

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My name is Reesa and I'm your host.

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We are talking to real families

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about real stories

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here on The Real Family Eats, where

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we've got food for thought

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and thoughtful food.

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So let's eat.

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Hey, everyone.

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My guest today is the lovely Dommie.

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Hi, Dommie.

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Thank you

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so much for being a guest on the show

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today. It's so exciting.

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So much fun. I'm really excited.

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Thank you for having me.

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Yes, absolutely.

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I'm so excited to chat with you

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about your story.

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But before we do that,

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for anyone who doesn't know you like

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I do,

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can you introduce yourself for us?

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Absolutely. So my name is Dommie.

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I am, let's see.

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I'm a wife of almost 31 years this year.

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Wow. Congratulations.

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Thank you, thank you.

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I have two grown sons

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who have two beautiful wives who

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Each one has one beautiful baby.

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Okay, I'm

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a grandma to a beautiful two year old boy

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and a 3 or let’s see 2 month old baby girl.

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So that's been really fun for me

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because I'm a boy, mom, I am a boy mom.

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So that little girl has rocked my world

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a little bit. Yeah.

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Let's see, my past history was mostly

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critical care nursing.

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Okay?

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I left that about four years ago.

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It wasn't really aligning

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with me anymore.

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And to have went into the holistic

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coaching aspect of nursing,

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supporting women in life transitions and,

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just trying to live a fun and filled life

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with family and friends.

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That's awesome.

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Okay, so now is our shameless

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plug section.

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So tell us for anybody

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who needs your services,

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some of that

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that coaching that you mentioned,

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can you tell us a little bit more

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about the services

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that you offer as well

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as how people can find you?

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Yeah.

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So, like I said, it's mostly based around

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lifestyle, transitioning.

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I love to coach women going through

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any type of lifestyle transition.

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And my website is

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NorthCoveCo.com

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so they can find me on there.

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A little bit more information,

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but I do 1 to 1, I do group coaching

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and I am very in love with frequency

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healing and energy work.

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So I do incorporate

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a lot of frequencies

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into my one on one coaching.

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Okay. I'm also on Facebook and Instagram.

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I'm not that active on there,

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but I definitely

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people can get a hold of me

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on there also, usually under Dommie Shaun.

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Wonderful.

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And we'll make sure

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to have all of those links

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in our show notes as normal.

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Okay, so tell me what recipe

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you're sharing with us today

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and why did you choose this one?

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So, let's see, this is mac and cheese.

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Okay. With some ham in there. Yeah.

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And it has been pretty much a staple,

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I think even as I was younger,

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my mom used to make it really.

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And it's pretty much

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the only recipe that I could walk through

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and not have to measure.

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And it's just a an eye and a feel, and

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I don't have to think about it,

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so I don't have to look at a recipe.

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There's a lot of funny stories

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about the mac and cheese,

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because of course, my my kids love it.

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They make it,

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my nieces,

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my nieces have made it, you know,

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there's stories.

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When my niece was young,

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she went home

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and was like, Mom

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and Tommy made mac and cheese,

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and it wasn't from a box.

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So there's just

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there's just a lot of fun

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stories about it.

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I have a really fun story with my oldest

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or my youngest son

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when he was in college.

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He made it at college,

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but I have always cooked

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the mac and cheese

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in a Pampered Chef clay pot.

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Okay,

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so when he went to college to make it

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the first time,

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he thought that it had to be made

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in the Pampered Chef clay pot

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and was so confused

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that when he went to every dorm room

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that nobody had it,

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so he didn't know what to do.

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Yeah,

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so just a lot of fun memories with it.

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And that's why I chose it.

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Well, I love it,

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and I love that you're

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willing to kind of share

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that to what

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other families

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can start making their own memories easy.

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I love it easy.

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And that's kind of what we need, right?

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Yeah.

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I mean, the amount of stuff

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that's on our plate to do,

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I absolutely love the idea

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of an easy thing

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that you can put together.

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And, you know, it's

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got your protein in there.

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I'm seeing,

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you know,

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you've got a little bit

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of everything inspired.

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Yeah, I want to create a comfort food.

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Yeah, definitely some comfort food.

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I mean yeah, easy and

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and quick is my kind of thing.

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You know,

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I think when I even graduated

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nursing school, like,

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we had a bunch of family

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and friends over, and I was like,

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thank you to my crock pot,

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because otherwise

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I would have never figured it out.

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Yeah, I've never figured out

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how to do that.

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All of it, between

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all the activities of the kids.

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So yeah, I'm very much

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an easy, quick cooker. Awesome.

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Okay, so tell me what the steps are

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and what I'm going to be doing,

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and I'll get started while we chat. Okay.

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So really

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what I start off

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doing is just cooking

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the large elbow macaroni.

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Okay, I've got my cook's macaroni here.

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So we got it in there.

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Perfect. Yeah.

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And with that,

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after the macaroni is cooked,

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I just kind of whip up the eggs

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a little bit.

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Okay. Put that in there.

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Kind of blend that through.

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I pour in some heavy whipping cream.

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Okay. And then salt and pepper.

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Salt, pepper it up.

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And sometimes I'll

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just throw the ham in there.

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Just makes it a little bit easier.

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Stir it all up and

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then I'll just start layering.

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So layer of noodles

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that's all coated with everything.

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And then layer of cheese,

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layer of noodles, layer of cheese.

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And then I pop it in the oven and there

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you go. Wonderful.

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The longest part is shredding the cheese.

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Yeah. And cooking the noodles.

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Okay. Yeah.

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Well, I love it.

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And so once it goes into the oven,

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how long, how hot, how?

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Well,

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I usually I have a convection oven,

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so I know that's a little bit different,

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but I usually would say 350

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for about 45 50 minutes.

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I usually cover the top of it

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just to make sure it's all bubbly

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and then take it off

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because then the top is really crispy

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and I love it.

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That's that's usually the part

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where we're all fighting

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is the top pieces.

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And I have to tell them, eat

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the bottom too. Yeah.

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Or I'll put it back in

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and get some more top pieces

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if there's leftovers,

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because there's usually always leftovers.

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That's awesome. Well, I can do that.

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So while I'm cooking, though,

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I know one of the things

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I was so excited

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that you're willing to chat about

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is some of the leader

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portions of parenting when it comes

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to kind of empty nesting

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and some of that journey.

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So can you tell me a little bit more

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about kind of what was your experience

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as far as navigating those kiddos

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kind of leaving the nest?

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I mean, that I'm not there yet,

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but gosh,

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that sounds so overwhelming

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and scary already.

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Yeah, yeah, it was

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a transition,

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and I don't

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think people really

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look at the empty nest as a transition.

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Okay.

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You know,

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you get all of the comments like,

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oh, cut the cord.

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Oh let them live their life.

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Oh they're grown adults now.

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Well okay.

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18 technically is a grown adult,

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but they're still your children.

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Yeah,

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they never stop being your children.

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So I think with me it was difficult,

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but I think I always looked at it

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like, okay,

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this is going to happen,

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but you can never really fully

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prepare yourself for it. Okay.

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I think that when the time came

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for my oldest son to go to college,

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you know,

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we looked all over,

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we did all the college things,

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all the tours,

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and he ended up about an hour

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and a half away from home.

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Okay.

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Which was also another statement,

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you know.

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Oh, he's only an hour and a half away.

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He's not that far. You'll be fine.

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Statements

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that you were getting from other

00:08:11:08 - 00:08:13:14
from other people. Really? Yeah.

00:08:13:14 - 00:08:14:19
So there's not really a lot

00:08:14:19 - 00:08:16:16
I mean, I think in their world

00:08:16:16 - 00:08:17:00
they were thinking

00:08:17:00 - 00:08:18:05
they were being supportive.

00:08:18:05 - 00:08:19:20
Well, I know he's only an hour

00:08:19:20 - 00:08:20:09
and a half away.

00:08:20:09 - 00:08:20:33
The thing is,

00:08:20:33 - 00:08:21:21
is that his head,

00:08:21:21 - 00:08:23:25
not on the pillow that it's been on

00:08:23:25 - 00:08:25:07
for the last

00:08:25:07 - 00:08:25:32
while at that point,

00:08:25:32 - 00:08:27:22
we had lived in our house for 17 years

00:08:27:22 - 00:08:29:28
or about 15 years. Okay.

00:08:29:28 - 00:08:30:31
But I couldn't just walk down

00:08:30:31 - 00:08:33:00
and see that he was sleeping or,

00:08:33:00 - 00:08:34:15
you know, or see his face.

00:08:34:15 - 00:08:36:12
So so those comments were

00:08:36:12 - 00:08:37:36
always very difficult for me.

00:08:38:35 - 00:08:41:20
But I think the hard part was

00:08:41:20 - 00:08:42:02
my husband

00:08:42:02 - 00:08:44:36
and I were so active in their worlds.

00:08:44:36 - 00:08:47:33
We were so active in their sports,

00:08:47:33 - 00:08:50:16
you know, our house was always filled

00:08:50:16 - 00:08:53:16
with with the teammates.

00:08:53:25 - 00:08:54:33
We were always cooking

00:08:54:33 - 00:08:56:19
meals with the teams.

00:08:56:19 - 00:08:57:30
There was just a lot

00:08:57:30 - 00:08:59:10
that we were always doing,

00:08:59:10 - 00:09:01:11
not to mention, you know,

00:09:01:11 - 00:09:04:08
family dinners, vacations.

00:09:04:08 - 00:09:06:09
And now we had to

00:09:06:09 - 00:09:06:29
go around

00:09:06:29 - 00:09:08:36
a whole different type of schedule.

00:09:08:36 - 00:09:11:36
So going from really just seeing them

00:09:11:36 - 00:09:13:29
being involved in their world,

00:09:13:29 - 00:09:14:30
knowing their world

00:09:14:30 - 00:09:17:15
kind of first hand to,

00:09:17:15 - 00:09:19:15
hey, here you go, here you go.

00:09:19:15 - 00:09:20:14
Yeah.

00:09:20:14 - 00:09:21:13
And so many people think

00:09:21:13 - 00:09:22:25
that it's like, here you go.

00:09:22:25 - 00:09:23:27
Well, it's really not.

00:09:23:27 - 00:09:26:02
There's a lot of stuff that goes on that

00:09:26:02 - 00:09:27:23
they can't fully grasp

00:09:27:23 - 00:09:28:30
or they don't really know

00:09:28:30 - 00:09:29:20
how to handle it.

00:09:29:20 - 00:09:32:13
So, you know, helping them is one thing.

00:09:32:13 - 00:09:34:32
I, I'm always a big believer in helping.

00:09:36:11 - 00:09:36:28
I guess my

00:09:36:28 - 00:09:37:12
kids tell me

00:09:37:12 - 00:09:38:27
you're really good

00:09:38:27 - 00:09:39:35
at asking the questions,

00:09:39:35 - 00:09:41:23
but not giving the answers

00:09:41:23 - 00:09:44:17
because I want them to work through it.

00:09:44:17 - 00:09:45:18
Which is hard.

00:09:45:18 - 00:09:47:20
Yeah, it's really difficult to do

00:09:47:20 - 00:09:48:04
because really,

00:09:48:04 - 00:09:49:34
you just want to fix everything.

00:09:49:34 - 00:09:51:12
And I think at the very beginning

00:09:51:12 - 00:09:52:08
of my empty nest,

00:09:52:08 - 00:09:53:21
I was in the fix it mode.

00:09:53:21 - 00:09:54:34
So it took me some time

00:09:54:34 - 00:09:56:27
to kind of get into the

00:09:56:27 - 00:09:57:30
no, let me,

00:09:57:30 - 00:09:59:24
let me coach them

00:09:59:24 - 00:10:01:35
to figuring these things out themselves.

00:10:01:35 - 00:10:03:18
What can you talk more about

00:10:03:18 - 00:10:05:16
why that was so important to you

00:10:05:16 - 00:10:08:15
as far as not just kind of giving them

00:10:08:15 - 00:10:09:10
the answers?

00:10:09:10 - 00:10:10:36
And, and really,

00:10:10:36 - 00:10:13:18
it sounds like helping them generate

00:10:13:18 - 00:10:15:12
maybe their own thought

00:10:15:12 - 00:10:17:26
and their own kind of ideas, even,

00:10:18:34 - 00:10:19:10
I think it

00:10:19:10 - 00:10:22:03
was important to me because I realized

00:10:22:03 - 00:10:22:13
I don't

00:10:22:13 - 00:10:22:35
I don't even know

00:10:22:35 - 00:10:25:35
when I realized this moment that I was

00:10:26:24 - 00:10:27:10
harming them

00:10:27:10 - 00:10:28:32
more than I was helping them.

00:10:28:32 - 00:10:29:09
You know,

00:10:29:09 - 00:10:30:26
I don't want them to solve problems

00:10:30:26 - 00:10:31:31
the way I solve problems.

00:10:31:31 - 00:10:33:03
I want them to solve problems

00:10:33:03 - 00:10:34:20
the way that they see fit,

00:10:34:20 - 00:10:36:05
the way that's true to them

00:10:36:05 - 00:10:37:29
and their thoughts.

00:10:37:29 - 00:10:39:01
I gave them the tools,

00:10:39:01 - 00:10:40:34
and I needed to trust

00:10:40:34 - 00:10:41:29
that what my

00:10:41:29 - 00:10:43:10
husband and I had taught them,

00:10:43:10 - 00:10:46:07
that they were able to pull out and use.

00:10:46:07 - 00:10:50:02
So, that's that's kind of where I try

00:10:50:02 - 00:10:50:35
to lead,

00:10:50:35 - 00:10:51:19
you know, of course,

00:10:51:19 - 00:10:53:21
you lead by example

00:10:53:21 - 00:10:56:21
or you tell them stories or,

00:10:57:23 - 00:10:58:18
but I didn't want to give them

00:10:58:18 - 00:10:59:11
the answers.

00:10:59:11 - 00:11:01:00
I wanted them to find their own answers

00:11:01:00 - 00:11:03:14
because their life isn't my life.

00:11:03:14 - 00:11:05:09
Yeah, right. Yeah. Right.

00:11:05:09 - 00:11:07:14
So just because I see something

00:11:07:14 - 00:11:08:03
one way doesn't mean

00:11:08:03 - 00:11:09:29
that it's going to fit for them.

00:11:09:29 - 00:11:12:19
And my boys are completely different

00:11:13:35 - 00:11:15:04
people.

00:11:15:04 - 00:11:16:28
Yes. Completely different.

00:11:16:28 - 00:11:18:06
So when my youngest left for college,

00:11:18:06 - 00:11:19:25
it was a complete different experience

00:11:19:25 - 00:11:22:09
than when my oldest left for college.

00:11:22:09 - 00:11:24:28
So I can't dictate how each of them

00:11:24:28 - 00:11:26:16
live in certain areas.

00:11:26:16 - 00:11:30:18
So yeah, have you seen that come out now?

00:11:30:18 - 00:11:31:14
Kind of.

00:11:31:14 - 00:11:34:04
If you were to look back of the ways that

00:11:34:04 - 00:11:36:22
you've seen those skills kind of flourish

00:11:36:22 - 00:11:38:11
and, and really be an asset

00:11:38:11 - 00:11:39:25
because I think that's

00:11:39:25 - 00:11:43:14
such a valuable mindset shift

00:11:43:14 - 00:11:47:14
almost to be able to to say, hey, you're

00:11:47:14 - 00:11:49:07
you're your own person.

00:11:49:07 - 00:11:51:31
You know, I can give you maybe some tools

00:11:51:31 - 00:11:53:08
and I can give you

00:11:53:08 - 00:11:54:14
maybe some, you know,

00:11:54:14 - 00:11:56:26
general basic outlines.

00:11:56:26 - 00:11:58:14
But hey, I want you to fill it in.

00:11:58:14 - 00:11:59:14
And it's really important

00:11:59:14 - 00:12:00:00
for you to fill it

00:12:00:00 - 00:12:02:32
in, in the way that you see. Yeah.

00:12:02:32 - 00:12:04:27
Because absolutely.

00:12:04:27 - 00:12:06:03
I think if I look back, you know,

00:12:06:03 - 00:12:09:03
I wish that I would have had that mindset

00:12:09:07 - 00:12:10:26
many, many years ago.

00:12:11:29 - 00:12:13:18
But you know, I had

00:12:13:18 - 00:12:17:11
my, I had Tanner at 22 or 23 years old.

00:12:17:17 - 00:12:18:10
That's a hard mindset

00:12:18:10 - 00:12:21:07
to have at 22, 23 years old Riley.

00:12:21:07 - 00:12:23:01
And so of course I think, oh,

00:12:23:01 - 00:12:24:01
if I was a little older

00:12:24:01 - 00:12:25:14
would I have them.

00:12:25:14 - 00:12:26:24
Maybe things would be a little different.

00:12:26:24 - 00:12:27:06
But then again,

00:12:27:06 - 00:12:28:28
I think things are just the way

00:12:28:28 - 00:12:30:08
they're supposed to be.

00:12:30:08 - 00:12:30:33
They're just right

00:12:30:33 - 00:12:31:18
where they supposed to.

00:12:31:18 - 00:12:34:18
Of course I have.

00:12:34:22 - 00:12:37:22
Of course, those regrets, I think,

00:12:38:10 - 00:12:40:34
with my first child, very structured,

00:12:40:34 - 00:12:42:13
very strict.

00:12:42:13 - 00:12:44:02
So I think it was a little bit more of,

00:12:44:02 - 00:12:44:18
wait a minute,

00:12:44:18 - 00:12:46:10
we're going to put the noodles in here.

00:12:46:10 - 00:12:48:24
Oh, I what you're baking. Yes. Yeah.

00:12:48:24 - 00:12:50:08
But let's. So not in here.

00:12:50:08 - 00:12:51:30
No that's not put it in there.

00:12:51:30 - 00:12:53:11
But you put some cream in there right

00:12:53:11 - 00:12:53:22
I did.

00:12:53:22 - 00:12:54:02
That's fine.

00:12:54:02 - 00:12:54:30
It's absolutely fine

00:12:54:30 - 00:12:56:08
to take the cheese out or whatever

00:12:56:08 - 00:12:57:13
you want to do.

00:12:57:13 - 00:12:58:17
But then we just kind of layer

00:12:58:17 - 00:12:59:10
it in here.

00:12:59:10 - 00:13:01:08
You can put the ham in there though,

00:13:01:08 - 00:13:02:20
and you sprinkled with salt and pepper,

00:13:02:20 - 00:13:04:26
I apologize. No it's fine.

00:13:04:26 - 00:13:06:02
You're just good. Okay.

00:13:07:34 - 00:13:09:21
So anyways, like you said, tools.

00:13:09:21 - 00:13:10:16
Yeah, I

00:13:10:16 - 00:13:12:14
my goal was to give my boys

00:13:12:14 - 00:13:14:20
a very big toolbox,

00:13:14:20 - 00:13:16:03
and hope that they choose to use it.

00:13:16:03 - 00:13:17:23
Yeah, right.

00:13:17:23 - 00:13:18:08
And I think that's

00:13:18:08 - 00:13:20:10
what the emptiness is about too,

00:13:20:10 - 00:13:20:32
you know? Yeah.

00:13:20:32 - 00:13:21:18
You transition

00:13:21:18 - 00:13:22:30
into this whole different

00:13:22:30 - 00:13:23:35
quiet world

00:13:23:35 - 00:13:26:30
where your home isn't busy and crazy

00:13:26:30 - 00:13:29:13
and you think, what am I doing now?

00:13:29:13 - 00:13:31:10
I mean, of course I had a job.

00:13:31:10 - 00:13:32:23
Of course, we stayed really active

00:13:32:23 - 00:13:34:17
because our boys were

00:13:34:17 - 00:13:35:14
college athletes,

00:13:35:14 - 00:13:37:04
so we tried to make all of their

00:13:37:04 - 00:13:38:35
their meat and that kind of stuff.

00:13:38:35 - 00:13:39:12
Okay.

00:13:39:12 - 00:13:40:24
And most importantly, you know,

00:13:40:24 - 00:13:42:07
you try and keep that relationship

00:13:42:07 - 00:13:45:07
with your husband and your spouse because

00:13:45:23 - 00:13:47:07
if you don't have that, what do you have?

00:13:48:17 - 00:13:51:13
You know, can you say more about that?

00:13:51:13 - 00:13:54:13
So I think in me coming from

00:13:54:31 - 00:13:57:31
a divorced world, okay, okay.

00:13:57:34 - 00:13:59:15
And I also think me coming

00:13:59:15 - 00:14:00:23
from a world where they,

00:14:00:23 - 00:14:02:29
I had always heard, oh,

00:14:02:29 - 00:14:04:27
usually parents are divorcing.

00:14:04:27 - 00:14:06:25
When the kids leave home,

00:14:06:25 - 00:14:08:22
they stay together for the kids.

00:14:08:22 - 00:14:09:18
So all that stuff,

00:14:09:18 - 00:14:10:23
it was something that I was like,

00:14:10:23 - 00:14:11:27
oh, I don't want to be that.

00:14:11:27 - 00:14:13:29
Yeah. Like, I don't want to do that.

00:14:13:29 - 00:14:16:09
My husband and I fought for our marriage

00:14:16:09 - 00:14:17:18
when our kids were younger.

00:14:17:18 - 00:14:18:05
I wasn't sure

00:14:18:05 - 00:14:19:10
if we would make it through,

00:14:19:10 - 00:14:20:17
but we did,

00:14:20:17 - 00:14:21:02
and I'm like, I'm

00:14:21:02 - 00:14:23:14
not going to fight that hard back then.

00:14:23:14 - 00:14:25:28
And now let it go.

00:14:25:28 - 00:14:28:13
So I think building up to that,

00:14:28:13 - 00:14:30:25
Chris and I were very much

00:14:30:25 - 00:14:32:32
we have to put our marriage first.

00:14:32:32 - 00:14:34:01
We love our kids

00:14:35:13 - 00:14:36:13
but we had to put our marriage first

00:14:36:13 - 00:14:37:35
because they're freaking leaving us.

00:14:37:35 - 00:14:40:07
Yeah. They're gonna leave us. Yeah.

00:14:40:07 - 00:14:41:25
That's that's so true.

00:14:41:25 - 00:14:43:36
And I think that's such great insight.

00:14:43:36 - 00:14:45:00
Now like when you're

00:14:45:00 - 00:14:46:04
on the other side of it

00:14:46:04 - 00:14:47:05
because you're absolutely right.

00:14:47:05 - 00:14:49:03
Sometimes when you're in the thick of it,

00:14:49:03 - 00:14:50:16
you're just like, I just got to survive.

00:14:50:16 - 00:14:52:04
We've got to do these kids

00:14:52:04 - 00:14:54:27
well, we'll deal with us later.

00:14:54:27 - 00:14:56:15
We don't have time for it. Yeah.

00:14:56:15 - 00:14:58:03
And so, like you said,

00:14:58:03 - 00:14:58:30
the hope

00:14:58:30 - 00:15:00:13
the goal is you're raising these,

00:15:00:13 - 00:15:01:18
these little humans

00:15:01:18 - 00:15:03:29
so that they can leave you. Yeah.

00:15:03:29 - 00:15:06:27
And then then you are left with just.

00:15:06:27 - 00:15:09:15
Hey, hey, what are we doing tonight?

00:15:09:15 - 00:15:11:06
Yeah, yeah.

00:15:11:06 - 00:15:12:03
So that was

00:15:12:03 - 00:15:13:24
that was a very big goal of mine

00:15:13:24 - 00:15:15:00
from the very beginning.

00:15:15:00 - 00:15:17:35
So we always did like vacations together

00:15:17:35 - 00:15:19:28
and then on vacation with the kids

00:15:19:28 - 00:15:22:03
and so we tried to keep that going.

00:15:22:03 - 00:15:23:05
I mean, was it always perfect.

00:15:23:05 - 00:15:24:13
Absolutely not. Yeah.

00:15:24:13 - 00:15:26:05
Was it still a transition for him

00:15:26:05 - 00:15:27:27
and I as a couple

00:15:27:27 - 00:15:30:03
to not have the commotion

00:15:30:03 - 00:15:31:18
and the busyness.

00:15:31:18 - 00:15:34:05
Yeah. But wow.

00:15:34:05 - 00:15:35:08
It was

00:15:35:08 - 00:15:36:05
it was a lot easier

00:15:36:05 - 00:15:37:02
since we did make

00:15:37:02 - 00:15:38:15
that goal in the beginning.

00:15:38:15 - 00:15:40:32
Yeah. Yeah. And so

00:15:42:01 - 00:15:45:01
as, as you're kind of broaching this

00:15:45:05 - 00:15:46:03
as you mentioned, this,

00:15:46:03 - 00:15:49:03
this big life change for you folks.

00:15:50:14 - 00:15:53:12
Can you walk me through kind of what was

00:15:53:12 - 00:15:54:26
all these people are trying to

00:15:54:26 - 00:15:55:27
it sounds like

00:15:55:27 - 00:15:56:30
give you,

00:15:56:30 - 00:15:59:18
you know, words to try to comfort you,

00:15:59:18 - 00:16:00:09
but it sounds like

00:16:00:09 - 00:16:00:35
perhaps maybe

00:16:00:35 - 00:16:03:11
not not landing quite

00:16:03:11 - 00:16:05:31
in the way that they were intending.

00:16:05:31 - 00:16:07:23
And so I'm very curious, like for you,

00:16:07:23 - 00:16:09:23
what was your like,

00:16:09:23 - 00:16:10:16
thought process,

00:16:10:16 - 00:16:11:21
what was going on for you

00:16:11:21 - 00:16:13:13
in those moments?

00:16:13:13 - 00:16:15:21
I think for me it was more so

00:16:15:21 - 00:16:17:26
keeping true to myself, okay,

00:16:17:26 - 00:16:19:19
knowing that

00:16:19:19 - 00:16:20:24
the boys were gone and doing

00:16:20:24 - 00:16:22:01
what they were meant to be doing

00:16:22:01 - 00:16:24:23
was very good for my soul,

00:16:24:23 - 00:16:26:36
while at the same time

00:16:26:36 - 00:16:30:24
there was an emptiness and a loneliness.

00:16:31:17 - 00:16:32:17
And yeah,

00:16:32:17 - 00:16:33:21
I was still their mom,

00:16:33:21 - 00:16:34:33
but they didn't need me every day

00:16:34:33 - 00:16:36:20
like they did.

00:16:36:20 - 00:16:39:34
So it was very I kind of equate it to

00:16:39:35 - 00:16:40:29
you can turn that off.

00:16:40:29 - 00:16:41:25
Is it still cooking?

00:16:41:25 - 00:16:42:14
Oh it's off.

00:16:42:14 - 00:16:44:04
Yeah, it's I kind of equate it.

00:16:44:04 - 00:16:45:35
It's kind of a loss, you know.

00:16:45:35 - 00:16:48:30
It's a loss of a role. Yes.

00:16:48:30 - 00:16:50:12
And then you can also think of it

00:16:50:12 - 00:16:52:03
as a transition of a role.

00:16:52:03 - 00:16:54:02
You know, you're you're coming from

00:16:55:18 - 00:16:56:20
supporting your children

00:16:56:20 - 00:16:59:21
every single day to,

00:16:59:27 - 00:17:00:26
let me support them

00:17:00:26 - 00:17:02:04
when they truly need it

00:17:02:04 - 00:17:02:35
or when they

00:17:02:35 - 00:17:04:14
call a need something

00:17:04:14 - 00:17:06:25
or let me just support them

00:17:06:25 - 00:17:08:03
and say, hurrah!

00:17:08:03 - 00:17:08:31
Because they're doing

00:17:08:31 - 00:17:10:10
a heck of a job on their own.

00:17:10:10 - 00:17:11:31
Yeah.

00:17:11:31 - 00:17:14:02
So it kind of your loss kind of grows

00:17:14:02 - 00:17:17:14
into a whole transformation of parenting

00:17:17:14 - 00:17:18:00
young children

00:17:18:00 - 00:17:20:14
to parenting young adult children.

00:17:20:14 - 00:17:22:23
And that's not always easy.

00:17:22:23 - 00:17:23:20
You know, it's a lot of

00:17:23:20 - 00:17:24:20
sitting on your hands

00:17:24:20 - 00:17:26:35
and a lot of biting your tongue and

00:17:26:35 - 00:17:28:10
and a lot of,

00:17:28:10 - 00:17:29:19
oh my gosh, what's happening

00:17:29:19 - 00:17:30:07
and what's going on

00:17:30:07 - 00:17:32:16
and what are they doing.

00:17:32:16 - 00:17:34:19
Was that

00:17:34:19 - 00:17:36:32
that grief that you mentioned,

00:17:36:32 - 00:17:39:32
did that catch you by surprise.

00:17:39:32 - 00:17:41:26
I don't think it caught me by surprise

00:17:41:26 - 00:17:42:10
really.

00:17:42:10 - 00:17:43:32
No I think I knew that

00:17:43:32 - 00:17:46:11
I was going to have a hard time because

00:17:46:11 - 00:17:47:28
I had been such an on

00:17:48:27 - 00:17:49:31
hands mom.

00:17:49:31 - 00:17:50:25
Yeah.

00:17:50:25 - 00:17:53:02
And I'm a very emotional,

00:17:53:02 - 00:17:55:04
empathetic person when it comes to that.

00:17:55:04 - 00:17:58:05
Very sensitive. Okay.

00:17:58:31 - 00:18:00:13
Maybe I was surprised a little bit

00:18:00:13 - 00:18:03:13
at how long it lasted,

00:18:03:14 - 00:18:04:32
or how frustrated I would get

00:18:04:32 - 00:18:06:09
when people would try and fix it.

00:18:06:09 - 00:18:07:12
For me,

00:18:07:12 - 00:18:09:13
there was no fixing it for me, you know,

00:18:09:13 - 00:18:10:06
what were things

00:18:10:06 - 00:18:12:12
that that were attempts to fix it?

00:18:12:12 - 00:18:12:26
Like what?

00:18:12:26 - 00:18:14:14
What did that look like for you?

00:18:14:14 - 00:18:16:14
It was just a lot of discussion,

00:18:16:14 - 00:18:16:34
you know,

00:18:16:34 - 00:18:17:30
and a lot of,

00:18:17:30 - 00:18:18:28
oh, you're fine,

00:18:18:28 - 00:18:21:16
let's do it this way or oh, they're fine.

00:18:21:16 - 00:18:22:09
They're out doing what

00:18:22:09 - 00:18:23:25
they're supposed to do.

00:18:23:25 - 00:18:24:18
You know, it's great

00:18:24:18 - 00:18:26:17
to have supportive people in your life.

00:18:26:17 - 00:18:27:34
Yeah.

00:18:27:34 - 00:18:29:13
But it just

00:18:29:13 - 00:18:30:35
their journey wasn't my journey.

00:18:30:35 - 00:18:33:00
Yeah.

00:18:33:00 - 00:18:34:08
I think that's a really.

00:18:34:08 - 00:18:35:23
It's a huge point. Yeah.

00:18:36:28 - 00:18:37:32
No emptiness.

00:18:37:32 - 00:18:39:09
Life is the same journey.

00:18:39:09 - 00:18:40:12
Just like no marriage

00:18:40:12 - 00:18:42:20
is the same journey.

00:18:42:20 - 00:18:43:27
It's really what you do.

00:18:43:27 - 00:18:44:11
Like,

00:18:44:11 - 00:18:45:05
when my boys left,

00:18:45:05 - 00:18:46:31
I was still working in the ICU,

00:18:46:31 - 00:18:48:27
so that kept me busy.

00:18:48:27 - 00:18:50:22
Yeah.

00:18:50:22 - 00:18:51:00
You know,

00:18:51:00 - 00:18:53:23
I felt like I left a full time job

00:18:53:23 - 00:18:54:18
as their parent,

00:18:54:18 - 00:18:57:22
but also as their booster parent

00:18:57:22 - 00:18:58:27
and that kind of thing.

00:18:58:27 - 00:18:59:15
So I felt like

00:18:59:15 - 00:19:00:02
I had a little bit

00:19:00:02 - 00:19:02:33
of extra time on my hands. Okay.

00:19:02:33 - 00:19:05:27
So that part was a little bit difficult,

00:19:05:27 - 00:19:07:28
but that gave us time to go and visit

00:19:07:28 - 00:19:09:32
when we could and go to their meetings

00:19:09:32 - 00:19:11:06
and that kind of thing.

00:19:11:06 - 00:19:11:36
So I think my husband

00:19:11:36 - 00:19:14:10
and I stayed really active.

00:19:14:10 - 00:19:14:34
I don't

00:19:14:34 - 00:19:16:04
I don't like the word busy,

00:19:16:04 - 00:19:17:22
but we stayed very active

00:19:18:22 - 00:19:20:32
even after,

00:19:20:32 - 00:19:23:33
after they, they, they left the nest.

00:19:24:17 - 00:19:26:10
Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

00:19:26:10 - 00:19:26:24
You know,

00:19:26:24 - 00:19:28:18
I mean we still stayed supportive

00:19:28:18 - 00:19:30:04
and I think the part that,

00:19:30:04 - 00:19:30:15
you know,

00:19:30:15 - 00:19:32:10
we were able to

00:19:32:10 - 00:19:34:22
fortunate enough to go and visit them and

00:19:34:22 - 00:19:35:23
go to their meets

00:19:35:23 - 00:19:36:16
and that kind of stuff

00:19:36:16 - 00:19:38:28
helped the transition in. Okay.

00:19:38:28 - 00:19:39:18
You know. Yeah.

00:19:39:18 - 00:19:40:20
Seeing the people

00:19:40:20 - 00:19:42:14
that supported them when we weren't

00:19:42:14 - 00:19:45:13
there was always very beneficial

00:19:45:13 - 00:19:46:33
because they go out

00:19:46:33 - 00:19:50:06
and they find a different world,

00:19:50:10 - 00:19:52:30
you know, to support them,

00:19:52:30 - 00:19:54:04
which is good no matter where they go,

00:19:54:04 - 00:19:56:01
if they go to college or they don't,

00:19:56:01 - 00:19:56:10
you know,

00:19:56:10 - 00:19:57:05
when they go out on their own,

00:19:57:05 - 00:19:58:36
they have their own their own world,

00:19:58:36 - 00:20:00:07
their own set of friends.

00:20:00:07 - 00:20:00:30
And no matter what

00:20:00:30 - 00:20:01:21
at that time, you know,

00:20:01:21 - 00:20:02:14
our friends are a little bit

00:20:02:14 - 00:20:03:14
of everything, right?

00:20:03:14 - 00:20:05:23
Absolutely. So, yeah. Yeah.

00:20:06:32 - 00:20:08:09
When because I heard you

00:20:08:09 - 00:20:10:12
mentioned kind of going back to,

00:20:10:12 - 00:20:11:31
you know, other people's

00:20:11:31 - 00:20:13:26
journeys may not have been yours

00:20:13:26 - 00:20:15:31
in that moment.

00:20:15:31 - 00:20:18:14
So for any listeners who are listening

00:20:18:14 - 00:20:20:01
and maybe wanting to support

00:20:20:01 - 00:20:21:31
someone who is going through that life

00:20:21:31 - 00:20:24:02
transition of empty nesting,

00:20:24:02 - 00:20:26:24
what were things that

00:20:26:24 - 00:20:27:15
you wish

00:20:27:15 - 00:20:29:21
you had more of or that you did receive?

00:20:29:21 - 00:20:29:34
You were like,

00:20:29:34 - 00:20:32:12
oh gosh, that really does hit

00:20:32:12 - 00:20:33:32
as the support that I needed.

00:20:33:32 - 00:20:35:12
Yeah,

00:20:35:12 - 00:20:38:11
I think in any type of relationship

00:20:38:11 - 00:20:41:27
or or support system,

00:20:42:22 - 00:20:45:19
it's being able to listen

00:20:45:19 - 00:20:48:00
and not turning it around to yourself.

00:20:48:00 - 00:20:51:01
Okay, so

00:20:51:11 - 00:20:53:03
if somebody is really struggling

00:20:53:03 - 00:20:54:12
and they want some support

00:20:54:12 - 00:20:56:31
and they want somebody to listen to them,

00:20:56:31 - 00:20:58:16
nine times out of ten,

00:20:58:16 - 00:21:00:00
they don't want you to tell them

00:21:00:00 - 00:21:03:00
your story and how you fixed your story.

00:21:03:01 - 00:21:03:26
Okay.

00:21:03:26 - 00:21:04:30
I felt

00:21:04:30 - 00:21:05:27
I just wanted somebody

00:21:05:27 - 00:21:07:31
to listen to my story.

00:21:07:31 - 00:21:08:19
Yes.

00:21:08:19 - 00:21:10:32
And say, oh, I feel you, Dommie.

00:21:10:32 - 00:21:12:10
I feel you.

00:21:12:10 - 00:21:13:26
Which did I have that?

00:21:13:26 - 00:21:14:23
Yes, I did,

00:21:14:23 - 00:21:15:12
you know, I was

00:21:15:12 - 00:21:16:22
I was fortunate enough to have friends

00:21:16:22 - 00:21:18:12
that felt that way for me and family.

00:21:20:11 - 00:21:22:13
But it was the times where I said,

00:21:22:13 - 00:21:23:17
oh, this happened today.

00:21:23:17 - 00:21:23:35
And they're like,

00:21:23:35 - 00:21:25:27
oh, wait, that happened to me every time.

00:21:25:27 - 00:21:26:26
And this is what I did.

00:21:26:26 - 00:21:27:31
Well,

00:21:27:31 - 00:21:28:33
I just need you to hear

00:21:28:33 - 00:21:31:00
what I'm going through today. Yeah.

00:21:31:00 - 00:21:32:11
So so it sounds like

00:21:32:11 - 00:21:33:12
almost kind of immediately

00:21:33:12 - 00:21:34:11
going into like problem

00:21:34:11 - 00:21:36:00
solving, like, yeah, that fix it.

00:21:36:00 - 00:21:36:19
Yeah.

00:21:36:19 - 00:21:38:09
Like, if I'm not asking you to fix it,

00:21:38:09 - 00:21:39:20
please don't try and fix it.

00:21:39:20 - 00:21:39:32
Yeah.

00:21:39:32 - 00:21:42:32
I'm just asking you to listen.

00:21:42:35 - 00:21:43:31
Yeah. Yeah.

00:21:43:31 - 00:21:46:20
So I mean, and one of the things that

00:21:46:20 - 00:21:49:36
and I love that you said that is I my,

00:21:50:08 - 00:21:51:21
one of my many missions

00:21:51:21 - 00:21:53:11
because I have many

00:21:53:11 - 00:21:55:27
is to have kind of more

00:21:55:27 - 00:21:58:28
of that normal normalize of really,

00:21:58:32 - 00:22:00:08
you know, going to that person

00:22:00:08 - 00:22:00:23
and saying,

00:22:00:23 - 00:22:02:19
how can I best support you

00:22:02:19 - 00:22:04:16
so that it really does

00:22:04:16 - 00:22:07:12
give a better opportunity for it to land

00:22:07:12 - 00:22:08:24
in the way that

00:22:08:24 - 00:22:10:14
they need it versus,

00:22:10:14 - 00:22:11:12
like you said, maybe,

00:22:11:12 - 00:22:12:21
oh, well, this help for me?

00:22:12:21 - 00:22:12:34
Okay.

00:22:12:34 - 00:22:13:28
Well,

00:22:13:28 - 00:22:14:26
I don't necessarily

00:22:14:26 - 00:22:16:08
view everything or my life.

00:22:16:08 - 00:22:17:34
You know, there's different components.

00:22:17:34 - 00:22:19:12
I'm not walking your path.

00:22:19:12 - 00:22:21:02
Yeah absolutely.

00:22:21:02 - 00:22:21:23
And so

00:22:21:23 - 00:22:23:13
and it sounds like in that for you.

00:22:23:13 - 00:22:24:22
You know it's

00:22:24:22 - 00:22:25:17
just listen

00:22:25:17 - 00:22:27:36
like I would just love some validation,

00:22:27:36 - 00:22:29:32
some normalizing, some empathy.

00:22:29:32 - 00:22:32:18
Like give me a hug. Yeah.

00:22:32:18 - 00:22:33:10
So how do we

00:22:34:17 - 00:22:35:28
so some people are like,

00:22:35:28 - 00:22:38:15
no, hey, don't touch me. So that's. Yeah.

00:22:38:15 - 00:22:40:02
You know, that's a great point. Yeah.

00:22:40:02 - 00:22:41:20
Yeah, yeah.

00:22:41:20 - 00:22:42:30
And that that's okay. Right.

00:22:42:30 - 00:22:45:19
That that we all kind of have for sure

00:22:45:19 - 00:22:47:05
what works best for us

00:22:47:05 - 00:22:48:20
and being able

00:22:48:20 - 00:22:50:33
to kind of respect that those differences

00:22:50:33 - 00:22:53:26
make us really unique, who we are. Yeah.

00:22:53:26 - 00:22:54:16
And it's back again

00:22:54:16 - 00:22:55:12
to what you were talking about

00:22:55:12 - 00:22:56:29
with your kiddos,

00:22:56:29 - 00:22:59:03
you know, being able to respect them

00:22:59:03 - 00:23:00:32
that like they're their own person and,

00:23:00:32 - 00:23:03:19
and giving them the autonomy to,

00:23:03:19 - 00:23:04:15
to figure stuff out

00:23:04:15 - 00:23:05:30
and what it looks like for them.

00:23:05:30 - 00:23:07:16
Yeah, I agree.

00:23:07:16 - 00:23:08:13
So I'm

00:23:08:13 - 00:23:09:09
so curious

00:23:09:09 - 00:23:12:12
then as you've been kind of navigating

00:23:12:12 - 00:23:16:32
is there moments for you that you are

00:23:16:32 - 00:23:18:09
even maybe currently

00:23:18:09 - 00:23:20:13
going through and looking at

00:23:20:13 - 00:23:21:28
and saying, gosh, this was

00:23:21:28 - 00:23:23:16
this was a really big challenge

00:23:23:16 - 00:23:26:15
I had to overcome and how,

00:23:26:15 - 00:23:26:26
you know,

00:23:26:26 - 00:23:28:18
if you did kind of how you were able

00:23:28:18 - 00:23:29:28
to work through that or things

00:23:29:28 - 00:23:31:28
that that were helpful for you.

00:23:31:28 - 00:23:34:05
Oh yeah. There's been many. So yeah,

00:23:35:05 - 00:23:35:35
yeah, I really I mean

00:23:35:35 - 00:23:37:17
my, my boys are grown.

00:23:37:17 - 00:23:40:09
They're, they're 29 and 26

00:23:40:09 - 00:23:41:04
and you know,

00:23:41:04 - 00:23:43:29
they both got married in 2021.

00:23:43:29 - 00:23:44:14
They got married

00:23:44:14 - 00:23:45:19
three months apart,

00:23:45:19 - 00:23:47:02
which I just wanted to punch them

00:23:47:02 - 00:23:49:07
both in the face for that.

00:23:49:07 - 00:23:51:21
Oh my gosh, I'm so stressful.

00:23:51:21 - 00:23:54:04
Like, give me some time, you know.

00:23:54:04 - 00:23:55:35
But that was their path.

00:23:55:35 - 00:23:56:27
That's how they

00:23:56:27 - 00:23:59:27
that's how it landed for them.

00:24:00:13 - 00:24:02:19
So yes, not only being the boy

00:24:02:19 - 00:24:05:23
mom and going through a transition

00:24:05:23 - 00:24:09:14
of inviting this other beautiful woman

00:24:09:14 - 00:24:11:17
into your family,

00:24:11:17 - 00:24:11:29
you know,

00:24:11:29 - 00:24:13:27
and taking not taking your place,

00:24:13:27 - 00:24:17:02
but taking your place is also another

00:24:17:25 - 00:24:19:04
form of transition in.

00:24:19:04 - 00:24:19:28
Yeah.

00:24:19:28 - 00:24:22:33
You know, like, okay, this is fun.

00:24:22:33 - 00:24:23:18
Like, great.

00:24:23:18 - 00:24:24:10
We're getting married

00:24:24:10 - 00:24:25:06
and this is wonderful.

00:24:25:06 - 00:24:26:35
And I'm so excited and happy for you.

00:24:26:35 - 00:24:28:22
But at the same time, oh,

00:24:28:22 - 00:24:30:13
let me find my spot again.

00:24:30:13 - 00:24:32:13
Let me see where I am again.

00:24:32:13 - 00:24:32:24
You know.

00:24:32:24 - 00:24:33:25
And that was

00:24:33:25 - 00:24:37:07
I always I would always get so frustrated

00:24:37:07 - 00:24:39:04
when people would tell me that whole,

00:24:39:04 - 00:24:39:32
you know,

00:24:39:32 - 00:24:42:17
a daughter is a daughter for life

00:24:42:17 - 00:24:44:04
until he takes a wife or whatever.

00:24:44:04 - 00:24:45:20
And I would just get so angry

00:24:45:20 - 00:24:47:33
because here I am with two boys, right?

00:24:47:33 - 00:24:48:20
And I,

00:24:48:20 - 00:24:50:07
I feel like

00:24:50:07 - 00:24:51:29
Chris and I raise this family to say

00:24:51:29 - 00:24:54:04
we are always a unit.

00:24:54:04 - 00:24:54:26
Like,

00:24:54:26 - 00:24:57:26
no matter what, we will always be a unit.

00:24:58:02 - 00:24:59:11
But then having that,

00:25:00:24 - 00:25:02:11
there's another unit there.

00:25:02:11 - 00:25:02:22
Yeah.

00:25:02:22 - 00:25:03:34
And how is this going to work out

00:25:03:34 - 00:25:06:13
and how are we going to fit into this?

00:25:06:13 - 00:25:07:22
You know,

00:25:07:22 - 00:25:10:03
and it wasn't always pretty for me.

00:25:10:03 - 00:25:11:28
Like, I don't think I

00:25:11:28 - 00:25:13:02
there are moments I think back

00:25:13:02 - 00:25:13:26
and I think

00:25:13:26 - 00:25:16:05
I could have handled that better,

00:25:16:05 - 00:25:16:27
but overall,

00:25:16:27 - 00:25:18:20
I think they know that I love them.

00:25:18:20 - 00:25:20:16
I love their choice.

00:25:20:16 - 00:25:22:09
I love their lives.

00:25:22:09 - 00:25:23:00
I love the way that

00:25:23:00 - 00:25:24:28
they work their goals.

00:25:24:28 - 00:25:26:22
So

00:25:26:22 - 00:25:28:30
yeah, you know, you work through it.

00:25:28:30 - 00:25:29:21
Is that

00:25:29:21 - 00:25:30:33
is there something specific,

00:25:30:33 - 00:25:32:25
like an moment for you

00:25:32:25 - 00:25:34:31
or something that you were able

00:25:34:31 - 00:25:36:08
to kind of find that role?

00:25:36:08 - 00:25:37:16
Because I imagine

00:25:37:16 - 00:25:39:08
and you know, I do have two boys,

00:25:39:08 - 00:25:40:25
so I'm just I'm hearing these things.

00:25:40:25 - 00:25:41:31
I'm like, oh my goodness,

00:25:41:31 - 00:25:43:11
what does my future look like?

00:25:43:11 - 00:25:43:27
You know?

00:25:43:27 - 00:25:45:22
And I would love to kind of hear

00:25:45:22 - 00:25:47:23
your thoughts of, of

00:25:47:23 - 00:25:49:35
how did you kind of make that transition

00:25:49:35 - 00:25:51:33
and work through it sounds like,

00:25:51:33 - 00:25:53:08
you know, even yet again,

00:25:53:08 - 00:25:54:05
another grieving

00:25:54:05 - 00:25:57:10
point of, of that role in that shift

00:25:57:10 - 00:25:59:26
of being being a mom,

00:25:59:26 - 00:26:01:22
you know, and kind of the person I go to.

00:26:01:22 - 00:26:02:06
I think it was

00:26:02:06 - 00:26:05:36
very fortunate for me in 2020.

00:26:06:00 - 00:26:07:02
Okay.

00:26:07:02 - 00:26:08:21
I had signed up for a nurse

00:26:08:21 - 00:26:09:36
coaching course.

00:26:09:36 - 00:26:10:29
I didn't really know

00:26:10:29 - 00:26:12:04
what the course was about,

00:26:12:04 - 00:26:15:13
but I knew that critical care was not.

00:26:15:26 - 00:26:17:07
It wasn't working for me anymore.

00:26:17:07 - 00:26:18:16
I just didn't feel like I was doing

00:26:18:16 - 00:26:19:34
what I needed to be doing.

00:26:19:34 - 00:26:20:16
So I remember

00:26:20:16 - 00:26:21:24
telling my husband, like, I'm

00:26:21:24 - 00:26:22:06
going to sign up

00:26:22:06 - 00:26:23:20
for the six month course.

00:26:23:20 - 00:26:25:07
It's really come,

00:26:25:07 - 00:26:26:17
I don't know what it's about,

00:26:26:17 - 00:26:27:20
but I'm just going to do it.

00:26:27:20 - 00:26:29:23
Okay, so I did,

00:26:31:11 - 00:26:33:09
and that was in January.

00:26:33:09 - 00:26:34:12
And it was all about

00:26:34:12 - 00:26:36:12
self-reflection, basically,

00:26:36:12 - 00:26:38:19
and all about lifestyle choices.

00:26:38:19 - 00:26:40:05
And,

00:26:40:05 - 00:26:42:17
it was a lot of soul searching,

00:26:42:17 - 00:26:43:22
which in general,

00:26:43:22 - 00:26:44:26
you know, once I had started it,

00:26:44:26 - 00:26:46:27
then came the big C-word.

00:26:46:27 - 00:26:47:08
And, you know,

00:26:47:08 - 00:26:48:34
all the chaos in the ICU,

00:26:48:34 - 00:26:49:21
which also,

00:26:49:21 - 00:26:51:21
I think helped me get through that.

00:26:51:21 - 00:26:53:24
But,

00:26:53:24 - 00:26:55:16
I'm grateful for that because I think

00:26:55:16 - 00:26:59:32
my moments for me, this can either go

00:26:59:32 - 00:27:01:13
really, really good

00:27:01:13 - 00:27:03:25
or you can make this really, really bad.

00:27:03:25 - 00:27:05:03
Well, it's your choice.

00:27:05:03 - 00:27:05:22
Yeah.

00:27:05:22 - 00:27:05:34
You know,

00:27:05:34 - 00:27:07:13
and I would tell that to my boys,

00:27:07:13 - 00:27:08:23
I remember telling them before,

00:27:08:23 - 00:27:10:13
like junior high and high school,

00:27:10:13 - 00:27:11:08
we can have a great

00:27:11:08 - 00:27:12:34
experience here together

00:27:12:34 - 00:27:14:23
or we can have a really crappy one.

00:27:14:23 - 00:27:16:00
It's your choice.

00:27:16:00 - 00:27:17:20
You choose to make this what it is.

00:27:17:20 - 00:27:18:02
Yeah.

00:27:18:02 - 00:27:21:02
So it's remembering what I told them

00:27:21:22 - 00:27:22:15
and pretty much

00:27:23:15 - 00:27:24:34
hammering it into myself.

00:27:24:34 - 00:27:26:06
Coaching yourself there too,

00:27:26:06 - 00:27:28:21
it sounds like. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah.

00:27:28:21 - 00:27:29:27
And saying, you know,

00:27:29:27 - 00:27:32:27
you can make this a joyous event or,

00:27:32:27 - 00:27:33:25
or not.

00:27:33:25 - 00:27:34:26
And of course, I wanted it

00:27:34:26 - 00:27:37:26
to be the best time for all of us,

00:27:37:34 - 00:27:40:21
even though it was really difficult

00:27:40:21 - 00:27:41:13
with both of them

00:27:41:13 - 00:27:44:13
within that three months time, you know,

00:27:45:12 - 00:27:48:13
but beautiful at the same time, you know.

00:27:48:24 - 00:27:50:31
So that's, that's kind of where it is,

00:27:50:31 - 00:27:51:28
you know.

00:27:51:28 - 00:27:52:27
Yeah.

00:27:52:27 - 00:27:56:23
Is there specific like supports.

00:27:56:23 - 00:27:57:32
I heard you mentioned kind of that,

00:27:57:32 - 00:28:00:00
that coaching course that you took.

00:28:00:00 - 00:28:01:31
Is there anything else that for

00:28:01:31 - 00:28:03:14
you was super helpful support

00:28:03:14 - 00:28:05:24
wise or resource wise that

00:28:05:24 - 00:28:06:16
you know, anybody else

00:28:06:16 - 00:28:08:04
who might be kind of going through

00:28:08:04 - 00:28:10:00
it could could reach out

00:28:10:00 - 00:28:13:00
or find similar support, similar support?

00:28:13:08 - 00:28:14:23
I think for me at that time,

00:28:14:23 - 00:28:16:01
it was just a lot of my own soul

00:28:16:01 - 00:28:17:08
searching, you know,

00:28:17:08 - 00:28:18:18
and and those are kind

00:28:18:18 - 00:28:19:20
of the types of things

00:28:19:20 - 00:28:21:02
that I love to coach women

00:28:21:02 - 00:28:22:28
through now, too, like,

00:28:22:28 - 00:28:24:21
I've been there, I've done that.

00:28:24:21 - 00:28:25:24
My story is not going

00:28:25:24 - 00:28:26:34
to look like your story.

00:28:27:33 - 00:28:30:16
But let's make it your story.

00:28:30:16 - 00:28:32:07
So I think that that's pretty much

00:28:32:07 - 00:28:33:00
turning it around too,

00:28:33:00 - 00:28:33:29
because, yeah,

00:28:33:29 - 00:28:35:15
you're building this new relationship

00:28:35:15 - 00:28:36:34
with your children

00:28:36:34 - 00:28:39:34
and their wives or their spouses,

00:28:39:34 - 00:28:40:31
but at the same time,

00:28:40:31 - 00:28:42:12
you're building a different relationship

00:28:42:12 - 00:28:43:32
with yourself.

00:28:43:32 - 00:28:46:24
So I think that that's a key component

00:28:46:24 - 00:28:48:23
in all of these transitions

00:28:48:23 - 00:28:50:16
is figuring out who you want to be,

00:28:50:16 - 00:28:51:12
where you want to be,

00:28:51:12 - 00:28:52:31
when you want to be it

00:28:52:31 - 00:28:53:08
okay,

00:28:53:08 - 00:28:55:02
and how you want to make that happen.

00:28:55:02 - 00:28:55:36
Yeah.

00:28:55:36 - 00:28:59:05
So are there, like,

00:28:59:14 - 00:28:59:32
you know,

00:28:59:32 - 00:29:01:29
maybe key question

00:29:01:29 - 00:29:04:33
ins for to to really prompt that soul

00:29:04:33 - 00:29:07:34
searching that you found really valuable.

00:29:08:08 - 00:29:08:18
You know,

00:29:08:18 - 00:29:10:03
there were books that I've read,

00:29:10:03 - 00:29:11:27
there was a book that I read about.

00:29:11:27 - 00:29:13:27
There was a Moms of Sons books.

00:29:15:04 - 00:29:17:18
You know, I just searched for things.

00:29:17:18 - 00:29:18:11
Okay.

00:29:18:11 - 00:29:19:25
I wish I could think of some of the books

00:29:19:25 - 00:29:20:33
right now.

00:29:20:33 - 00:29:22:19
I have them at home in my office,

00:29:22:19 - 00:29:23:36
but I can't really think of them.

00:29:23:36 - 00:29:26:14
But I did a lot of reading, I really did.

00:29:26:14 - 00:29:28:24
I did a lot of journaling.

00:29:28:24 - 00:29:29:23
My prompting,

00:29:29:23 - 00:29:31:22
I did a lot of gratitude journaling

00:29:31:22 - 00:29:33:10
because what I chose to do,

00:29:33:10 - 00:29:35:27
and that was helpful.

00:29:35:27 - 00:29:38:27
And let's see what else.

00:29:39:34 - 00:29:42:34
Yeah, I think it was just more of so

00:29:43:26 - 00:29:46:26
how do you want this relationship to go?

00:29:47:17 - 00:29:48:24
And it's not always easy.

00:29:48:24 - 00:29:48:34
You know,

00:29:48:34 - 00:29:50:06
I think I'm fortunate the women

00:29:50:06 - 00:29:51:03
that they chose to bring in

00:29:51:03 - 00:29:52:02
are beautiful women

00:29:52:02 - 00:29:53:32
who who love our family

00:29:53:32 - 00:29:55:31
and who are caring and thoughtful

00:29:55:31 - 00:29:57:31
and who love my boys.

00:29:57:31 - 00:29:59:27
And is that always the case?

00:29:59:27 - 00:30:01:23
No, it's not always the case.

00:30:01:23 - 00:30:03:31
But I think that you have to walk

00:30:03:31 - 00:30:05:10
in the steps

00:30:05:10 - 00:30:06:07
and ask yourself how

00:30:06:07 - 00:30:08:03
I want to handle this. Yeah.

00:30:09:11 - 00:30:11:07
And it sounds like really for you.

00:30:11:07 - 00:30:13:02
And correct me if I'm wrong. Kind of.

00:30:13:02 - 00:30:14:22
It sounds like also going back

00:30:14:22 - 00:30:15:10
and figuring out

00:30:15:10 - 00:30:18:03
kind of that value center

00:30:18:03 - 00:30:19:11
and and being able

00:30:19:11 - 00:30:19:30
to kind of

00:30:19:30 - 00:30:21:24
go from there, like you said, of, of

00:30:21:24 - 00:30:23:10
how do I want to show up

00:30:23:10 - 00:30:24:26
and, you know, potentially given

00:30:24:26 - 00:30:27:03
is it in alignment with those things

00:30:27:03 - 00:30:28:36
that are really at my core

00:30:28:36 - 00:30:30:13
of the things that I value

00:30:30:13 - 00:30:31:05
that for sure

00:30:31:05 - 00:30:31:30
have worth

00:30:31:30 - 00:30:34:22
so that I can, you know, be really

00:30:34:22 - 00:30:35:06
it sounds like,

00:30:35:06 - 00:30:35:16
you know,

00:30:35:16 - 00:30:37:15
content with that decision

00:30:37:15 - 00:30:39:22
because I think what you mentioned there,

00:30:39:22 - 00:30:41:03
remembering that

00:30:41:03 - 00:30:42:19
although there may be times

00:30:42:19 - 00:30:43:04
where we feel like

00:30:43:04 - 00:30:45:18
we don't have a choice,

00:30:45:18 - 00:30:47:32
that there's

00:30:47:32 - 00:30:48:34
usually some choice

00:30:48:34 - 00:30:49:35
and sometimes the choices,

00:30:49:35 - 00:30:51:31
I can choose to kind of sit and be like,

00:30:51:31 - 00:30:53:11
well, I have no choice,

00:30:53:11 - 00:30:54:30
or I can choose to kind of

00:30:54:30 - 00:30:55:21
do the research,

00:30:55:21 - 00:30:57:25
even if I don't know what the answer is,

00:30:57:25 - 00:30:58:22
let me go out

00:30:58:22 - 00:31:00:19
and let me ask other people,

00:31:00:19 - 00:31:02:09
or read books or read materials

00:31:02:09 - 00:31:04:15
that might be able to to shine some light

00:31:04:15 - 00:31:06:31
and into some of those answers.

00:31:06:31 - 00:31:08:12
And usually if we dig deep

00:31:08:12 - 00:31:10:16
and we break through our own barriers

00:31:10:16 - 00:31:11:09
and our own hurt

00:31:11:09 - 00:31:14:09
feelings or our own insecurities,

00:31:14:16 - 00:31:16:12
we usually find the answers within.

00:31:16:12 - 00:31:16:33
Yeah,

00:31:16:33 - 00:31:17:29
but it usually takes

00:31:17:29 - 00:31:19:25
a little bit of work,

00:31:19:25 - 00:31:22:10
work and perhaps even like a willingness

00:31:22:10 - 00:31:23:11
to get vulnerable.

00:31:23:11 - 00:31:25:15
Oh yes, it sounds like.

00:31:25:15 - 00:31:27:08
Yes, vulnerability is usually a bad word

00:31:27:08 - 00:31:28:17
for so many people, right?

00:31:28:17 - 00:31:29:07
Yeah, but

00:31:29:07 - 00:31:31:07
I find that vulnerability is so beautiful

00:31:31:07 - 00:31:33:20
and so opening and,

00:31:33:20 - 00:31:35:25
makes things just so much

00:31:35:25 - 00:31:36:35
clearer for you.

00:31:37:36 - 00:31:39:24
And scary too scary.

00:31:39:24 - 00:31:42:09
You know, the path is a little rocky,

00:31:42:09 - 00:31:44:35
but it's a path. Yeah.

00:31:44:35 - 00:31:46:11
That's true.

00:31:46:11 - 00:31:48:08
Versus feeling like there is no path.

00:31:48:08 - 00:31:49:23
Yeah, yeah.

00:31:49:23 - 00:31:51:36
That's powerful. Wow. I love that.

00:31:51:36 - 00:31:54:12
So if you were to kind of,

00:31:54:12 - 00:31:55:36
you know, rewind.

00:31:55:36 - 00:31:56:22
You know, my

00:31:56:22 - 00:31:57:35
the question I love to ask

00:31:57:35 - 00:32:00:08
is if you had access to a Delorean

00:32:00:08 - 00:32:01:00
and you could go back

00:32:01:00 - 00:32:02:25
and kind of give yourself,

00:32:02:25 - 00:32:03:03
you know,

00:32:03:03 - 00:32:04:27
some words of wisdom to be able

00:32:04:27 - 00:32:05:24
to kind of have

00:32:05:24 - 00:32:07:30
some of that knowledge going into it.

00:32:07:30 - 00:32:08:15
Is there anything

00:32:08:15 - 00:32:09:24
that you would tell yourself

00:32:09:24 - 00:32:10:24
or that you would tell others

00:32:10:24 - 00:32:13:24
kind of in the midst of it?

00:32:17:08 - 00:32:18:15
I think I would tell myself

00:32:18:15 - 00:32:20:35
to just breathe,

00:32:20:35 - 00:32:23:35
and believe in what I built

00:32:24:04 - 00:32:26:10
and what my husband built

00:32:26:10 - 00:32:28:28
and believe in my children. Yeah.

00:32:30:20 - 00:32:31:05
Gosh.

00:32:31:05 - 00:32:31:25
Yeah.

00:32:31:25 - 00:32:34:25
Oh, that sounds so

00:32:35:25 - 00:32:38:26
simple, yet so incredibly difficult.

00:32:39:23 - 00:32:40:32
So kind of,

00:32:40:32 - 00:32:41:02
you know,

00:32:41:02 - 00:32:42:26
I feel like so many people we,

00:32:42:26 - 00:32:44:06
we have this idea

00:32:44:06 - 00:32:46:01
we of that control

00:32:46:01 - 00:32:47:12
in some way shape or form

00:32:47:12 - 00:32:49:19
and you know, to kind of believe

00:32:49:19 - 00:32:52:19
in others takes a degree of

00:32:53:04 - 00:32:55:15
taking those hands up and saying, okay,

00:32:55:15 - 00:32:56:21
you know,

00:32:56:21 - 00:32:58:26
I hope everything's on the track

00:32:58:26 - 00:33:00:08
and hope that it goes. Yeah.

00:33:00:08 - 00:33:03:01
Because it doesn't mean you let go. Yeah.

00:33:03:01 - 00:33:05:36
It just means that you

00:33:05:36 - 00:33:08:12
release a little bit.

00:33:08:12 - 00:33:10:03
You know, I like that reframe.

00:33:10:03 - 00:33:10:21
Yeah.

00:33:10:21 - 00:33:11:30
So instead of a letting

00:33:11:30 - 00:33:12:10
go of

00:33:12:10 - 00:33:13:32
just like you said here,

00:33:13:32 - 00:33:15:22
okay, go out into the world, I.

00:33:15:22 - 00:33:16:09
Yeah,

00:33:16:09 - 00:33:17:09
you know that it's, it's

00:33:17:09 - 00:33:18:14
a, it's a release.

00:33:18:14 - 00:33:20:19
It's maybe getting creative of what?

00:33:20:19 - 00:33:22:26
Like you said, that new role looks like

00:33:24:02 - 00:33:26:25
and having the flexibility

00:33:26:25 - 00:33:30:16
to be able to say, okay, okay, okay.

00:33:30:33 - 00:33:31:10
I mean,

00:33:31:10 - 00:33:31:31
no matter what,

00:33:31:31 - 00:33:33:27
I think our children always need us.

00:33:33:27 - 00:33:34:27
You know, there's always something

00:33:34:27 - 00:33:37:23
and we always need them, right?

00:33:37:23 - 00:33:39:14
So I think if you build

00:33:39:14 - 00:33:42:14
that relationship and you remember

00:33:43:05 - 00:33:46:05
they're human beings, they're adults,

00:33:46:09 - 00:33:49:10
they're their own person.

00:33:49:26 - 00:33:50:19
The relationship can

00:33:50:19 - 00:33:51:31
just be so much better.

00:33:51:31 - 00:33:55:02
Yeah, I think that's that's so beautiful.

00:33:55:02 - 00:33:56:09
That idea of that building

00:33:56:09 - 00:33:57:21
that relationship

00:33:57:21 - 00:33:58:20
and taking that stance

00:33:58:20 - 00:34:00:17
as the parent versus like, oh, they're

00:34:00:17 - 00:34:01:02
they're my kids.

00:34:01:02 - 00:34:01:27
They'll always be there.

00:34:01:27 - 00:34:04:14
I don't really need to to build anything.

00:34:04:14 - 00:34:05:21
I don't need to do the work

00:34:05:21 - 00:34:07:16
because that's just expected.

00:34:07:16 - 00:34:09:09
Well, every relationship takes work.

00:34:09:09 - 00:34:10:06
Yeah, right.

00:34:10:06 - 00:34:11:19
I think back and I look

00:34:11:19 - 00:34:12:08
and you know,

00:34:12:08 - 00:34:13:14
when they were going through high school,

00:34:13:14 - 00:34:15:23
it was, oh, the last cross-country meet.

00:34:15:23 - 00:34:16:23
Oh, the last

00:34:18:07 - 00:34:20:01
leadership event or

00:34:20:01 - 00:34:21:00
everything was the last,

00:34:21:00 - 00:34:23:22
the last, the last

00:34:23:22 - 00:34:24:31
until I started thinking about it.

00:34:24:31 - 00:34:25:27
Well, wait,

00:34:25:27 - 00:34:27:32
this is the first of like

00:34:27:32 - 00:34:29:09
this is the beginning of.

00:34:29:09 - 00:34:29:30
Yeah.

00:34:29:30 - 00:34:31:19
So maybe I would tell myself

00:34:31:19 - 00:34:32:36
that to like,

00:34:32:36 - 00:34:35:27
don't look at everything as the last.

00:34:35:27 - 00:34:37:11
Think of it as a new beginning.

00:34:37:11 - 00:34:39:02
The next chapter. Yeah.

00:34:39:02 - 00:34:41:18
Because the last seems so negative.

00:34:41:18 - 00:34:42:21
Right.

00:34:42:21 - 00:34:44:14
And so like the final. Yes.

00:34:44:14 - 00:34:46:18
And the new beginning is just.

00:34:46:18 - 00:34:47:14
Oh, here we go.

00:34:47:14 - 00:34:49:00
Let's go strap on the boots

00:34:49:00 - 00:34:50:09
and let's keep running.

00:34:50:09 - 00:34:52:33
So yeah, that's probably another tip

00:34:52:33 - 00:34:55:15
I would give myself that's I love that.

00:34:55:15 - 00:34:58:13
And it's such a great reminder again.

00:34:58:13 - 00:35:00:02
And another choice that you get to make

00:35:00:02 - 00:35:01:17
of whether or not you're,

00:35:01:17 - 00:35:04:18
you're open and willing to, to reframe

00:35:04:18 - 00:35:06:11
in that way of saying,

00:35:06:11 - 00:35:07:36
you know what, it's

00:35:07:36 - 00:35:09:26
maybe the last of this chapter,

00:35:09:26 - 00:35:10:12
but gosh,

00:35:10:12 - 00:35:11:22
we have so much more of the book

00:35:11:22 - 00:35:12:10
left over.

00:35:12:10 - 00:35:14:15
Oh my gosh, so much more.

00:35:14:15 - 00:35:16:03
You know, it doesn't stop.

00:35:16:03 - 00:35:16:36
I remember thinking

00:35:16:36 - 00:35:18:14
when my boys were little, like, oh,

00:35:18:14 - 00:35:19:07
and they're 18,

00:35:19:07 - 00:35:20:05
they'll just be on their own

00:35:20:05 - 00:35:21:20
and obviously live in their own life.

00:35:21:20 - 00:35:22:28
And I'll be

00:35:22:28 - 00:35:24:14
I don't know, you know, I'm like,

00:35:24:14 - 00:35:25:36
oh no, you

00:35:25:36 - 00:35:27:19
they never stop being your children.

00:35:27:19 - 00:35:28:27
Yeah. Never.

00:35:28:27 - 00:35:29:06
Yeah.

00:35:29:06 - 00:35:31:00
Even when they have their own,

00:35:31:00 - 00:35:32:12
they still don't stop.

00:35:32:12 - 00:35:33:01
Yeah.

00:35:33:01 - 00:35:33:29
I mean, have you

00:35:33:29 - 00:35:34:34
have you gotten those calls

00:35:34:34 - 00:35:36:28
like I don't know what to do. Help.

00:35:36:28 - 00:35:39:24
Oh yes. For sure. Yes.

00:35:39:24 - 00:35:40:24
And they're fun.

00:35:40:24 - 00:35:42:18
There's fun conversations.

00:35:42:18 - 00:35:43:12
They're just fun

00:35:43:12 - 00:35:44:00
because, you know,

00:35:44:00 - 00:35:45:08
they're coming into this

00:35:45:08 - 00:35:46:28
realization of like, oh my gosh,

00:35:46:28 - 00:35:47:19
I that's so human

00:35:47:19 - 00:35:48:04
and I don't really know

00:35:48:04 - 00:35:49:05
what to do with them.

00:35:49:05 - 00:35:50:05
And I'm like, yeah,

00:35:50:05 - 00:35:50:32
I don't know what to do with you

00:35:50:32 - 00:35:51:29
either, dude.

00:35:51:29 - 00:35:53:06
But we survived.

00:35:53:06 - 00:35:54:21
And so. Right.

00:35:54:21 - 00:35:55:36
And I think that's just again,

00:35:55:36 - 00:35:59:04
the overall theme is when, when we enter

00:35:59:04 - 00:36:00:24
into this

00:36:00:24 - 00:36:02:01
journey of parenting,

00:36:02:01 - 00:36:03:15
we don't get a manual.

00:36:03:15 - 00:36:05:15
No, we don't get someone who goes,

00:36:05:15 - 00:36:06:10
okay, here's your instruction

00:36:06:10 - 00:36:08:32
manual for this particular model. Yes.

00:36:08:32 - 00:36:09:09
You know, it's

00:36:09:09 - 00:36:10:30
they're all different model.

00:36:10:30 - 00:36:13:29
It's night and day models for sure.

00:36:13:29 - 00:36:14:07
And the

00:36:14:07 - 00:36:15:03
the manual that works

00:36:15:03 - 00:36:16:24
for one doesn't work

00:36:16:24 - 00:36:18:03
always work for the other.

00:36:18:03 - 00:36:20:01
And so it doesn't work that way.

00:36:20:01 - 00:36:21:00
And as much as you know

00:36:21:00 - 00:36:21:26
we wish

00:36:21:26 - 00:36:25:02
it would but I think yeah I you know,

00:36:25:09 - 00:36:25:20
I say

00:36:25:20 - 00:36:27:07
I don't know any parent that'd be like,

00:36:27:07 - 00:36:29:17
oh I don't want a manual. No.

00:36:30:26 - 00:36:31:36
And so to kind of be

00:36:31:36 - 00:36:35:10
able to then see them also experiencing.

00:36:35:32 - 00:36:36:12
Yeah.

00:36:36:12 - 00:36:38:33
Fun is but it's a journey.

00:36:38:33 - 00:36:41:34
Yeah. Right.

00:36:41:35 - 00:36:43:32
And it's a whole different world.

00:36:43:32 - 00:36:46:03
Yes. Lots of fun but show me.

00:36:46:03 - 00:36:47:32
Well gosh okay.

00:36:47:32 - 00:36:48:30
So I'm so excited.

00:36:48:30 - 00:36:50:08
So we'll put this in the I won't get it.

00:36:50:08 - 00:36:51:16
Amazing bubbly.

00:36:51:16 - 00:36:53:17
And I'm excited to have this yummy

00:36:53:17 - 00:36:54:07
mac and cheese.

00:36:54:07 - 00:36:56:02
You love mac and cheese

00:36:56:02 - 00:36:57:26
and I've never tried it before,

00:36:57:26 - 00:36:58:34
so I'm excited.

00:36:58:34 - 00:36:59:30
I'm excited for you.

00:36:59:30 - 00:37:02:30
It's just a nice little bake.

00:37:03:01 - 00:37:03:31
Literally.

00:37:03:31 - 00:37:04:25
My kids

00:37:04:25 - 00:37:06:04
sometimes put ketchup on it,

00:37:06:04 - 00:37:09:04
which I want to shoot them for that.

00:37:09:18 - 00:37:12:06
I personally like to have cold

00:37:12:06 - 00:37:13:10
peeled tomatoes with it,

00:37:13:10 - 00:37:14:24
so I guess it's kind of the same.

00:37:14:24 - 00:37:15:34
Yeah, just a different version.

00:37:15:34 - 00:37:17:22
Yeah, just a different version.

00:37:17:22 - 00:37:18:21
So yeah, that's always

00:37:18:21 - 00:37:19:26
a good little side for it.

00:37:19:26 - 00:37:21:07
Or of course a salad or whatever.

00:37:21:07 - 00:37:22:32
Yeah. Or absolutely nothing.

00:37:22:32 - 00:37:24:13
Just put it on the table and here you go.

00:37:24:13 - 00:37:26:00
There you go. Yes, yes.

00:37:26:00 - 00:37:26:28
Love it.

00:37:26:28 - 00:37:26:36
Well,

00:37:26:36 - 00:37:28:07
thank you so much for being willing

00:37:28:07 - 00:37:28:19
to share

00:37:28:19 - 00:37:29:25
not only this recipe,

00:37:29:25 - 00:37:32:25
but your journey and, chat with me.

00:37:32:25 - 00:37:33:31
The real side of kind

00:37:33:31 - 00:37:35:10
of some of those struggles

00:37:35:10 - 00:37:36:04
with empty nesting.

00:37:36:04 - 00:37:37:13
I really do appreciate you.

00:37:37:13 - 00:37:38:16
And I think that

00:37:38:16 - 00:37:39:27
such valuable information

00:37:39:27 - 00:37:40:32
you've been able to offer

00:37:40:32 - 00:37:41:20
from your journey

00:37:41:20 - 00:37:42:27
and kind of pay it forward.

00:37:42:27 - 00:37:43:36
So thank you.

00:37:43:36 - 00:37:45:14
I loved it so much fun.

00:37:45:14 - 00:37:47:09
And yes, yes, love to share.

00:37:47:09 - 00:37:49:11
Absolutely wonderful.

00:37:49:11 - 00:37:50:11
Well, thank you so much

00:37:50:11 - 00:37:51:22
and thank you all for listening.

00:37:51:22 - 00:37:52:24
We'll see you next time.

00:37:54:29 - 00:37:57:03
If you or anyone that you know

00:37:57:03 - 00:37:57:29
is struggling

00:37:57:29 - 00:37:58:28
with any of the topics

00:37:58:28 - 00:38:01:02
that we discussed in today's episode,

00:38:01:02 - 00:38:02:14
make sure to check out our show

00:38:02:14 - 00:38:04:35
notes for support and resources.

00:38:04:35 - 00:38:07:22
You can get help.

00:38:07:22 - 00:38:09:03
Thanks again for joining us on

00:38:09:03 - 00:38:12:03
today's episode of The Real Family Eats.

00:38:12:17 - 00:38:13:31
If you're a parent ready

00:38:13:31 - 00:38:16:05
to share your real life parenting story,

00:38:16:05 - 00:38:17:22
make sure to reach out to us

00:38:17:22 - 00:38:20:01
and our website found in the show notes.

00:38:20:01 - 00:38:22:05
And that goes for today's recipe,

00:38:22:05 - 00:38:24:24
social media support and resources.

00:38:24:24 - 00:38:25:30
All of that can be found

00:38:25:30 - 00:38:26:36
in our show notes,

00:38:26:36 - 00:38:28:31
so make sure to check them out

00:38:28:31 - 00:38:31:01
and make sure to follow, like,

00:38:31:01 - 00:38:32:12
share, subscribe

00:38:32:12 - 00:38:34:27
and stay up to date on all things

00:38:34:27 - 00:38:36:24
the real family eats.

00:38:36:24 - 00:38:37:24
I hope you'll join us

00:38:37:24 - 00:38:40:11
next time for more food for thought

00:38:40:11 - 00:38:42:02
and thoughtful food.

00:38:42:02 - 00:38:43:01
Enjoy your eats!